Dyson anti-tangle cables revolutionise electronics

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 25 June 2012

image for Dyson anti-tangle cables revolutionise electronics
A picture of the cables under my TV

Dyson's latest simple, but desperately needed invention has created a tsunami among electronics manufacturers: anti-tangle cables. This solves at a stroke the problem plaguing all modern houses: cables that spontaneously tangle up with each other and themselves without ever being touched.

"Dyson have found the solution to the age old problem of tangled wires," said Alan Liszt, an industry analyst, from Brahms and Liszt. "This is the kind of invention that changes everything."

Industry sources openly admit that wireless technology, such as Bluetooth, WiFi and cordless charging have all been invented as ways to avoid cable tangling, not make consumers' lives easier.

"Dyson have discovered that because the whole world runs on AC power, and that the vast majority of equipment uses DC power, there has to be a conversion," said Liszt. "It is this conversion that sets up a resonance in the wires, and causes magnetic field lines to pull the wires into an inextricable spaghetti like mess."

All Dyson wires now have uni-directional electricity, with the conversion from AC to DC happening in the plug, rather than in the appliance.

"We've done tests," said Vicky Beckham of Dyson Labs. "We've left Dyson Wires behind a cupboard for two weeks, with a control sample of normal wires behind a different cupboard."

According to Beckham, when a new appliance was to be included in the collection already in the cupboards, the normal wires had become intertwined and knotted, despite being plugged in at both ends.

"This was exactly as expected," said Beckham. "However the Dyson wires remained untangled."

It was a Eureka moment, and the patent was applied for and granted, once the patent clerk had untangled the cable holding their pen to the desk.

Electronics manufacturers across the planet are now using the patent to ensure that from this day forth, all appliances will remain tangle free for their entire lives.

Cable tidy manufacturers are livid.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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