Sundusky verdict feel-good counter to NBA Finals
AMERICA-In light of the Miami Heat's victory in the N.B.A. Finals, sports media outlets across the country have been using the guilty verdict in Jerry Sandusky's child molestation trial as the lighter side of the sports news. Media figures have claim...
Read full storyKnighthood for Roy Hodgson, England call-up for Beckham
London - England manager Roy Hodgson is to receive the Order of the Gutter after the nation's finest blew it in Kiev. The gong, which is in the personal gift of the Queen, is a traditional alternative to beheading, hanging-drawing-and-quartering a...
Read full storyRoy Hodgson Sacked as England Manager
Roy Hodgson has been sacked by the FA just minutes after another torrid display by England and their defeat via a penalty shoot out by Italy. England who decided to let Italy have 99% possession of the ball, despite possessing some of the most exc...
Read full storyThe Amazing Gesture That LeBron James of The World Champion Miami Heat Is Doing For The City of Cleveland
MIAMI - LeBron James has just won his first first NBA Championship and he says that he has never been more excited than he is now, except maybe for the time when he was 3-years-old and Santa Claus brought him his very own toothbrush. The Miami Hea...
Read full storySaudis Allow Women to Compete In Games But Insist on Traditional Attire at all Times
Saudi Arabia is to allow its women athletes to compete in The Games for the first time. A statement issued by the Saudi Embassy in London says the country's committee will "oversee participation of women athletes who can qualify, however, they sh...
Read full storyNATO on High Alert As UFO's Buzz More Turkish Jets. Syria Claim Aliens Attempting To Spark Nuclear War
A spokeswoman says NATO's governing body will meet Tuesday to discuss the Alien downing of a Turkish plane in Syrian airspace and suspicions that maybe a UFO was not responsible for the attack, a clear act of war, but maybe the Syrian's themselves.
Read full storyBrotherhood of Man draw Massive Crowds In Egypt
1976 Eurovision Song contest winners, Brotherhood of Man, most famous for their "twist in the tale" Eurovision winning song "Save Your Kisses for Me" are having somewhat of a resurgence in Egypt, with over 6,000,000 Egyptians voting them the most po...
Read full storyUN Declare Emergency In Pizza Hut Talks Fiasco
Talks between President and Pizza Hut collapsed completely late last night as both sides resorted to name calling and threats of legal action as the ongoing crisis entered its sixth day, prompting the United Nations to declare an emergency and appoin...
Read full storyITV Announce The Chas Channel!
ITV have just announced their new Chas Channel. Character in British Soap, Chas-Dale (formerly Emmerdale), Chas Dingle has been taking over the ITV Network recently, with show's like The Only way is Chas, The Chas Awards, Chas Dingle's Yorkshire...
Read full storyFat Man In Panties - Possible Sighting At Arkansas IHOP
Unconfirmed reports confirming a possible sighting of the infamous fat man in panties, who has been dubbed by the media as the "Fat Panty Man", have not yet been confirmed in Arkansas. It is the third unconfirmed sighting of the man in four days.
Read full storyVD Outbreak In Horley
The little town of Horley (near Dorking but prettier than Dorking) in Surrey has recently experienced an outbreak of VD according to the monthly medical magazine for hypochondriacs - 'You Name It - I've Got It'. Dr. Brian Badcock at Horley Health...
Read full storyBritish Kids Going Crazy for MP Trading Cards
The latest craze sweeping the United Kingdom could be headed stateside soon as British kids go head over heels trading collectable cards portraying the images of Members of Britain's Parliament. The cards, manufactured by Ashbro, contain not only...
Read full storyJustin Beiber Glove Puppet Tipped As This Year's Christmas Hot Toy
Toy manufacture Ashbro will unveil their Justin Beiber glove puppet Monday and the crudely made novelty is set to become this year's "Cabbage Patch Doll" - the most sought after toy for kids this Christmas and it is anticipated that stocks will r...
Read full storyCameron Likely To Be Replaced As Prime Minister Within Days!
According to an ex-cabinet Tory minister the recent gaffs by Prime Minister David Cameron, his latest being when he referred to an immoral scheme being used by a famous British comedian as a way of paying as little tax as possible, is causing such co...
Read full storySimon Cowell Action Figures Recalled En Masse
Toy manufacturer Ashbro have recalled 250,000 Simon Cowell action figures after a potential choking hazard was discovered. Over 375,000 of the action figures, with gripping hands and life like hair have already sold, making the toy this year's m...
Read full storyEuro 2012: Roy Hodgson on 'the Italian Job'
England manager Roy Hodgson took time off from preparing for the three lions biggest match in years by watching the former Inter managers favourite film - The Italian Job. England go head to head with Italy in the last quarter-final of the tournam...
Read full storyNo Entry for Wollenda
Nik Wollenda, world renown tightrope walker, after his spectacular 25 minute, 1800 foot walk on wire above Niagara Falls was denied access by Canadian Border Patrol agents because there are no laws on the books for entering Canada on a rope. Agent...
Read full storyEd Millibond admits he made a "Boo Boo"
David Millibond admitted yesterday that he had got immigration totally wrong. In a frank admission the Minister described how he had allowed thousands of illegal immigrants into the country. "I should not have advertised my birthday party on Faceb...
Read full storyNATO bid to nuke Syria's Krak Des Chevaliers UFO hangar
Brussels - Top brass at a NATO summit have ordered the immediate destruction of a Syrian hangar suspected of shielding extraterrestrials involved in the Turkish F-4 Phantom downing. The Krak Des Chevaliers air base has been widely reported of invo...
Read full storyLondon Ban On Men Over 40 Wearing Tracksuits During 2012 Olympics!
The government has announced that all men over the age of 40 are to be banned from wearing tracksuits in London as from midnight 27 July to midnight 12 August this year. Police will be out in force on the streets of London throughout the duration...
Read full storyLeBron James: Hail to Thane of Cawdor, Boil and Bubble
No cramps defeated the champs. "Long Live the King," more or less. "Toil and trouble," indeed! The brawn of LeBron told us Thunder could not cramp the Heat style in procuring an early series championship. The NBA press machine was already there li...
Read full storyGovernment Think Tank. Phew what a bunch of loonies!
A Government think tank has released a report on how it will reduce the carbon footprint of the United Kingdom. In the report Professor Lance Loony expresses concerns about the impact of maintaining current infrastructure policies and recommends cut...
Read full storyStop Andrea Pirlo And It's Italian Job Done Says Martin Shuttlecock
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock has added his negligible weight to the pre-match analysis ahead of tonight's Italy v England Euro 2012 quarter final clash in Kiev. Relaxing quietly at his Titchfield home, sipping a cold one and sparking his thirtiet...
Read full storyGrim Reaper to have the last laugh in royal 'Kiss My Ass' Order of Precedence row
London - A daft Palace memo to all aspiring wannabes has set out protocol guidelines over who should curtsey to whom. "I bow to no one," is how Queen Elizabeth put it last week while updating a new royal pecking order for her moron entourage. T...
Read full storyThe day the Olympic Torch came to town
The Olympic Torch came to my town today. It came at ten on a Sunday morning. This is better than two towns over, where it arrived at five in the morning. I went along as it's a free family event, and as I knew one of the runners, it would be a little churlish not to participate in this 'once in a lifetime' event that has been taking place for weeks and is now so banal even the BBC have stopped tal...
Read full storyBritish dog wins Ugly Dog world championship and Italian dog called Balotelli came second!
British wonder dog called Mugly, has just won the World's most ugliest dog contest in the USA. Mugly is skinny, hairless and looks like he was put under a hairdryer for 2 hours before the finals took place. He won it "paws-down"! The British are a...
Read full storyMaria Sharapova To Visit Former Minder - Burnley Man Reg Bond - Ahead Of Wimbledon 2012
Globally renowned Russian grunting tennis queen, Maria Sharapova, has announced that she is to pay a goodwill visit to her former minder, Reg Bond, at his shared Burnley B&B room ahead of this year's Wimbledon tennis championships. "I owe much...
Read full storyDavid Cameron's Bank Account Depleted to Zero By Computer Hackers
David Cameron's bank account has been depleted to zero by a Robin Hood Style Computer Hacker. The attack came just 20 minutes after the Tory without a heart declared war on the Under 25s and tiny children who have already been abandoned by their fa...
Read full storyLeBron James: Collector of Rings (like Saturn or Bill Russell?)
We noticed on a popular but insipid sports website that bored writers are debating how many championship rings LeBron James shall collect in his career. If we noticed correctly, the planet Saturn started with three rings and seems to be still incr...
Read full storyNadya Suleman, AKA OctoMom Thrilled With The Success of Her New Porn Movie "I'm The Girl of My Dreams"
HOLLYWOOD - Nadya Suleman, America's latest porn star appeared on The View where she was asked questions by the resident "Hens." Barbara Walters asked her how much she was paid to star in the porn flick titled "I'm The Girl of My Dreams." Sulem...
Read full storyRoger Clemens To Open Up The Lucky Son-Of-A-Gun Hot Dog Diner
KATY, Texas - Former Major League Baseball pitcher Roger Clemems, 49, knows that he is a very lucky guy who has just joined the ranks of other very lucky individuals such as President Bill Clinton, Senator John Edwards, and Mafioso Vinnie "The Nose"...
Read full storyMitt Romney Says If He Loses To President Obama He'll Move To Mexico And Run For President There
SAGINAW, Michigan - Mitt Romney traveled to Saginaw to pay a visit to an old high school friend McMillan E. Figglefox. The Political Salad Bar News Agency had reported that Romney had become somewhat upset with his long time friend. It appears...
Read full storyDrunk Golfer Drivers Car on Golf Course, Hits his Car for a Hole in One
A very drunk Rockville, Maryland man, Jerry Sands drove his car off the road after leaving the golf course's 19th hole and ended up on top of a golfer who was teeing off on the 7th hole. The inebriated Mr. Sands flopped out of his car, stumbling wil...
Read full storyObama appeals for kidneys
Due to results of recent poles, Barack Obama during his weekly "Chat with the Nation," appealed to all Democratic and Independent voters that still retain both kidneys, to sell one kidney, and donate the money to his presidential campaign. He stat...
Read full storyMitt Romney's plan to fix European debt crisis is 'on the table'
Mitt Romney, speaking in front of the National Society for Effective Consumerism last Sunday, outlined his plan for a U.S. response to the European debt crisis. "I mean really, dealing with this debt issue in Europe would be a piece of cake," sa...
Read full storyRebekah Brooks denies love tryst with Rupert Murdoch
Former editor of the News of The World Rebekah Crooks today flatly denied a love tryst with former boss Rupert 'Rumpy Pumpy' Murdoch. The former News International CEO who resigned last year and was arrested 'by appointment' has been in and out of...
Read full storyJames Cameron outed as some sort of evil, time travelling, visionary genius who enjoys a bit of side boob
Sinister rumours have been circulating all day that director James Cameron orchestrated the 1912 demise of the Titanic luxury liner, just so he could make a movie about it. New evidence about the tragic event has shown that Cameron had the idea of making such a film as early as 1898. It was only when he first heard about the Titanic's planned maiden voyage that he decided to take action. It i...
Read full storyAdvice, Support & Tips for those entering old age - from Bartholomew Utterswaithe Part 2
This article, was designed by the effervescent, disconsolate, decrepit, depressed Bartholomew Utterwaithe (66), to offer help, support, succour and advice to those of the population who are entering their 60's - in an effort to lessen the culture-shock suffered by many, when they also get made redundant at 62 years of age, then suffer heart failure, loneliness, depression, and being overcharged fo...
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