Written by Exislanda

Saturday, 18 February 2012

image for Argentina set their sights on Caribbean Islands
Female soldiers of the Dutch Army will not be serving in the front line.

Frustrated by the United Kingdom's militarisation of the disputed Las Malvinas Islands Argentina has turned its attention on an island group in the Caribbean, who they consider have weaker patronage and will be less of a problem to invade and annex for themselves.

Foreign Relations minister Héctor Timerman secretly arrived in the Dominican Republic capital, Santo Domingo on Thursday to garner the Hispanic nation's support for Buenos Aires' claim over Las Antillas.

The diplomat's visit to DR president Leonel Fernandez forms part of a tour of sympathetic Central American and Caribbean nations, while his country continues to denounce The Netherlands claim to the disputed Dutch Antilles at the UN, said a source cited by newspaper Dominicano Hoy.

Timerman met with Fernandez in the National Palace at 12:00 noon Friday, and held a press conference in his country's embassy later in the afternoon.

"The Dutch don't have much of an army or navy, they would take months, maybe years, to mobilise any retaliatory actions. They are all so high on coffee and cannabis that we've been sending them for years, they probably won't even notice when we invade."

"And the islands are much more hospitable," he continued, "It was the cold and rugged environment that caused us to lose La Guerra de las Malvinas against the British imperialists in 1982. So this time we are going for somewhere warmer."

"We understand that the female population will welcome us with open arms. Once we have control, there will be opportunities for our men to relax."

"A large contingent of our navy is currently making a friendly call at the port of Caracas, as guests of Hugo Chavez Frias, whilst awaiting instructions from Buenas Aires. Aruba and Curaçao have beautiful beaches most suitable for a sea-borne invasion."

It is understood that a flotilla of British warships are currently deployed is Caribbean waters, shadowing the Argentine navy's movements. The deployment includes tank landing craft, and Second Lieutenant Henry Windsor (Price Harry) is leading the Blues and Royals in beach landing exercises.

A spokesmen from the Ministry of Defense said it was simply routine and denied that the UK were concerned about their own dependants in the Caribbean. He also denied that the Netherlands had asked the British for assistance.

"There are Belongers in the Turks and Caicos Islands who are eighth generation British and as long as they wish to remain British, then we will continue to support them."

Meanwhile, in the Dominican Republic, Timerman expects to confirm Fernandez's support for the Argentine cause of reclaiming The Netherland Antilles, through dialogue and with the UN's mediation.

Fernandez urged Spanish speaking Latin and Central American nations to assume as their own "Argentina's push for sovereignty over the Dutch Antilles. Sons of Spain Unite!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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