The day the music died
There was an international outpouring of sympathy at the weekend for the death of Whitney Houston. But another less celebrated musician died on the same day, whose passing has barely been mentioned in the newspapers. Johnny "John" Johnson had a musical career spanning five decades. A few weeks ago, TheSpoof were lucky enough to interview him for the last time, barring a now-unlikely comeback. T...
Read full storyHarry Redknapp turns down England job to dance with Wolves
The Tottenham Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp has secretly told friends that he will turn down the job of England manager if it is offered by the Football Association, but is still considering leaving Spurs - for the newly available managers job at Wo...
Read full storyDorking pheasantry scandal
Dorking, Surrey - "They'd never have dared to boot us out if the Old King was still alive!" was the defiant war cry of Squire Norris of the Polesden Lacey Pheasant Shooting Syndicate upon eviction from the grace and favor terroir. His 100 fellow m...
Read full storyBritney Spears Up To Her Old "Upskirt" Ways
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Britney Spears who became almost as famous for getting out of cars as she did for her singing and dancing is back in the news again. According to Margarita Mixx of The Tinsel Town Times Tribune the 30-year-old singer was just phot...
Read full storyTop chef to star as Mrs Brown in UK tour.....
Producers of the award winning Irish sitcom Mrs Browns Boys, have announced that foul mouthed TV chef Gordon Ramsey is to star as Agnes Brown in the forthcoming UK stage production. The UK's undisputed swearmiester was the big prize the shows makers...
Read full storyBirth Certificate Reveals Rick Santorum To Be The Son of God
Washington, DC -- Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has declared his campaign to be "The Second Coming," after learning that his birth certificate identifies him as the Son of God. "I thought I might be related to Superman," Santorum...
Read full storyDo they mean, er...'biblically'??
London - A top think tank's 'knowing a cabinet minister is worth £113,000 a year' advice was being studied today as lobbyists insisted on an official sliding scale to clarify penetration of Whitehall's corridors of power. The Centre for Economic...
Read full storyGun Sales Spike Dramatically This Valentine's Day
Thanks to some clever thinking on the part of an employee at one of the largest gun manufacturers in America, gun sales in the states of Georgia, Arkansas and Missouri are up over 400 per cent. The product responsible for record sales is a pretty...
Read full storyQueen Mother Insult Ignites UK Irish Press Row
The editor of one of the UK's weekly Irish community newspapers stunned readers this week by telling a correspondent, essentially, to belt up. A reader of the Irish Post, Anne Leacy, took exception to an article in the February 4 edition which ref...
Read full storySluttymobile Makes Paris Hilton Look Like a Virgin
(New York)Wall Street investors are very nervous after it has been revealed that Sluttymobile phone company is being investigated for fraud and insiders say the details make Paris Hilton look like a Virgin. It is understood that Sluttymobile has...
Read full storyHouse of Windsor pikeys get the nod with Olympics caravan site
Windsor, Berks - They're the House of Windsor's equivalent of Dale Farm trailer trash and have camped out in royal palaces since World War II. A London 2012 announcement confirmed this morning that 300 pitches have been earmarked for them between...
Read full storyRedknapp in Tevez fear
Fears have arisen today about what would happen if Harry Redknapp, self confessed "ungreediest man in Britain" should encounter his arch nemesis and the most lazy and greediest bastard alive , Carlos Tevez, in the confines of a football stadium.
Read full storyGay Colombian priests hire Catholic "hit man" to put them out of their misery!
Two gay Colombian priests could not bring it upon themselves to either "come out" or tell the Catholic church (which is 85% gay anyway). So they hired a "hit man" to murder them because the Catholic church does not allow gay preists to commit suicide...
Read full storySuitable Easter Eggs/Presents for UK Cabinet Ministers
Right Honourable David Cameron MP (Conservative) Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury and Minister for the Civil Service. Most Suitable Gift: A Guy Fawkes C4 filled exploding Easter egg. Right Honourable Nick Clegg MP (Liberal Democrat) Deputy Prime Minister, Lord President of the Council. (With special responsibility for political and constitutional reform) Most Suitable Gift: A brow...
Read full storyNew Diseases & Ailments: UK Citizens at greatest risk
Named Disease: HAJ (Had-a-job) Syndrome Symptoms: Being made redundant through no fault of your own, suicidal feelings, lack of food, and the disappearance of respect. Election of Coalition or Tory government. Most at Risk: The proletariat, anyone not related to, a banker or a friend of a Politician. This disease can become permanent especially in the 3.4 million of unemployed. Area's most affe...
Read full story"You Have a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts" Makes University's Book of Acceptable Words and Phrases for the Queen
After years of publishing its ever growing annual book: List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Misuse, Michigan's Lake Superior State University has decided to put out a much smaller book titled: List of Words that the Queen would real...
Read full storyDetroit to Furlough Crime to Save Money
In an effort to further reduce the city's crime fighting budget, Detroit, Michigan, Mayor Donald Do-Little, has announced that the city will be furloughing crime to coincide with its limited police office hours. Only crimes committed between the hou...
Read full storyVillage People to Perform at Superbowl Halftime Show 2013
The NFL selection committee has booked The Village People to perform at the halftime show in 2013's Superbowl. Some people have been debating the sanity of the people booking the halftime show in recent years saying their acts don't represent the mac...
Read full storyRussell Brand Offers To Help Kate Gosselin Mend Her Broken Heart After Being Dumped By Steven Tyler
HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand has stated that he watched The Grammy Award Show at his home in the Hollywood Hills and that he was not surprised one bit to see and hear his soon-to-be-ex-wife Katy Perry diss him in her song "Part Of Me." In fact Russel...
Read full story