Putin as bemused with Clint Eastwood as he was with Pussy Riot
MOSCOW - Russian President Vladimir Putin has made it clear that he's no fan of Barack Obama because he's Amerian as well as Mitt Romney who not only is American but basically attacked the Soviet Union, as Romney calls it, in a speech last year. S...
Read full storyShoot Out With Wild Bill "Bibi" At The Iran Border
Yesterday on the Iraq-Iran boundary, looking for the saloon Ali Baba and His Forty Daughters, intrepid Pepe Warezabar spotted what looked like stetson, Glock pistol, and belts of ammo around a large belly. This person whirled, Glock blazing, and the dust next to Pepe's right big toe whipped up as a cautionary statement. The cowboy turned out to be Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu, Prime Minister of I...
Read full storyGOP Convention Run For New Malarkey "Not Fact-Checkers"
In keeping with high standards of intellectual guidance and decent politics for a global party, GOP representatives have wound up their convention with leaps and bounds upward in a new official language, quickly becoming known as New Malarkey And Ass...
Read full storyStress and Strauss - Cricket, it's a funny old game
Ex-England cricket captain Andrew Strauss has stated his desire to become a Tory MP. Joining the Tories suits Strauss as they seem to be run in the same way the England cricket team is, shite. Back and to the Left news are unsure as to how knowing wh...
Read full storyMetal thieves steal street furniture in Dorking
Residents of London suburb, Dorking, awoke this morning to discover that thieves had stolen every last scrap of metal from the town. "They came in during the night," said police inspector, Devon Cumbria. "They've taken street lamps, park benches,...
Read full story'Exhibitionists' arrested in Sparks & Menser
Senior staff in Rochdale's Sparks & Menser store have uncovered a group of 'exhibitionists' plotting to demonstrate against lower prices. Six women and two men were arrested after they undressed, painted their bodies and prepared themselves fo...
Read full storyFossil hunting is the new craze for kids
A new craze is sweeping across the UK with children in their thousands taking up geology in a hunt for fossils. "Fossils have always interested kids," said Larry Green, a palaeontologist with Cambridge University's Geology department. "It's pleasi...
Read full storyClint Eastwood gives speech---returns to cryogenic vault!
It was an excited, enthused but somewhat baffled crowd that gave a standing ovation to Clint Eastwood as he took the podium at the GOP convention last night. "Is he still alive?," one attendee was heard to remark. The Associated Press in a repor...
Read full storyMassive Full Moon tremor scuppers Kate and Wiliam Far East freebie
Philippines - The 7.9-magnitude quake off Samar Island struck early this morning just as the Pisces Full Moon was waxing into maximum display. Its aftershocks have rattled Kate and William's Far East holiday plans for yet another taxpayer-funded f...
Read full storyNot Tickle Me Elmo, but Tickle Me Bin Laden
Washington, USA. A Navy SEAL involved in the top secret operation to assassinate Osama Bin Laden has revealed that the Al Quaeda leader was not shot as popularly believed but in fact tickled to death. Jake Greibless IV was recruited by the SEALs beca...
Read full storyScottish Alcoholism is on the decrease - at last!
According to a study, Scots are drinking less alcohol than they were a year ago. Scottish adults still drink (on average) 115% more than their English counterparts, but the drop is encouraging. It now means more Scots are using milk on their cornfla...
Read full storySheep rustling on the rise in rural Wales
Much like our national debt, claims for rural theft are on the rise. Nowhere is feeling the pinch (pun) like rural Wales, where thousands of sheep have been recorded stolen in the past year. The sheep, normally used as extra-martial aids, are feared...
Read full storyFake medical doctors on the increase and causing harm to millions of citizens
Back and to the Left news has discovered that nearly 34% of men and 59% of women may have been treated by a bogus DR. We discovered this during our prostate exam; our suspicions were raised when asked to leave a tip. So as responsible journalists for a number of respectable magazines (Winos Weekly to name but one) we decided to make a quick checklist to make sure you don't fall into a fake Doctors...
Read full story99% of tabloids' royal family bollocks sourced to bigamist Camilla
London - Cringe-making stories about royal humbug are being lapped up by red tops deprived of phone-hacked stuff. And most of the rubbish is coming from Camilla, doyenne of Palace bollocks and other unsavory crap. At an editorial meeting of QM-...
Read full storyPaul Ryan rumbled as Bill Clinton's bastard son
Tampa, Florida - A UN Security Council 'NOC-list' of undesirables confirms what those Dumbo-esque ears and rictus grin have hinted at for decades. "We have established that Paul Ryan is Clinton's bastard spawn," a spokesperson for Ban Ki-Moon's Ta...
Read full storyLocal council to be computer free by 2013
A leaked internal memo from Saddleworth Council has been delivered to Spoof HQ. Its contents show that the council aims to be computer free by 2013, when all I.T staff will be re equipped. The document reads as follows: The Saddleworth Council I.T Systems Committee has defined a lower cost alternative to the previously planned Windows 8 system conversion. All computers will be removed fr...
Read full storyU.S. Congressional Approval Falls Below 0%
The U.S. House of Representatives recently held a hearing concerning the revelation that Congress' approval rating hit the unprecedented low of -4%. The following is a transcript of that hearing. CONGRESSIONAL APPROVAL RATING FALLS BELOW 0% 2012 HEARING BEFORE THE SUBCOMMITTEE ON GOVERNMENT ORGANIZATION, EFFICIENCY AND FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT OF THE COMMITTEE ON OVERSIGHT AND GOVER...
Read full storyClint Eastwood's GOP Convention Speech Helped President Obama
TAMPA - Clint Eastwood showed everyone at the Republican National Convention and millions of television viewers that he may be a legendary Hollywood icon, but he sure ain't no political speaker. The man who starred in The Good, The Bad, and The Ug...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Wants To Adopt Little Honey Boo Boo
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin recently dumped her boyfriend Russell Brand and she's stated that her main focus right now, other than her children, is on getting another reality show. Gosselin told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle th...
Read full storyDemocratic Convention to Open With Salute to Dogs
Waffle, NC - As a nod to one of President Obama's most notable achievements,the Obama Administration's decision to change Labor day to Labrador Retriever day, the Democratic National Convention, which starts on Labrador Retriever Day, will begin with...
Read full storyIan Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev To Star In The Spy-Thriller Film Cut & Paste
HOLLYWOOD - The TouchRock Motion Picture Company in association with Pipe Dream Films has just announced their latest venture into the Land of Movies. Noted director Bandini Borrapelli will be directing the stars of The Vampire Diaries Ian Somerha...
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