Portuguese win gold and silver in Olympic diving
Nobody was surprised to Portugal atop the podium in the Olympic diving, with Ronaldo and Nani making a clean sweep between them. Nani's dive in the twenty-five metre event was technically perfect, earning him the gold, whilst Ronald's dive lacked ele...
Read full storyYogurt Rescues the Greek Economy
Athens - Don't stick a fork in Greece. Use a spoon instead, because the debt-riddled nation is about to emerge as Europe's economic powerhouse, thanks to booming sales of Greek yogurt. "Greek yogurt has more protein than regular yogurt. It tastes...
Read full storyMan Utd pay £350 million for an unknown Brazilian Amazon Indian!
As the football season rolls upon us once again and the transfer market goes mad, Man Utd have decided to back off of deals that have anything to do with 29 year-old super-Gunners, 26 year-old spoilt brats who refuse to play for Spurs and Brazilian,...
Read full storyLike, literally awesome
The campaign for plain English has outlawed the use of "literally" and "like" as used by Will.I.Am. He was made to recite and memorise this poem. "Like, literally awesome" by Rob Barratt It was literally awesome Some awe was in place I was literally gobsmacked I got punched in the face I was literally spaced out Floating round the room I was literally flying I was, like, over the mo...
Read full storyFootball Gossip & comments 1st August 2012
Former Wolves manager Mick McCarthy says he turned down the chance to take over at Nottingham Forest because he hopes for a return to the Premier League. (Daily Mail) Good luck with that. Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini showed that he still has many of his old skills with a clever back heel in training. (Daily Mirror) His agent has confirmed if he doesn't get a £50,000 a week pay-ri...
Read full storyRed Sox and Red Faced: the 'Loose' Ryan Sweeney
Not since Amare Stoudemire slammed his fist into a fire extinguisher on the wall has there been a display case of such idiocy as seen with Ryan Sweeney of the Red Sox. Young #12 has issued a Twitter apology to teammates and fans for his fatuous ac...
Read full storyAssange fury after emails hacked
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is planning to quit his refuge in the Ecuadorean embassy in London after accusing officials there of reading his emails. Assange, who ran screaming into the embassy in June claiming asylum in a bid to avoid ext...
Read full storyLondon 2012 is the XXX Olympics
It was finally noticed today that the London 2012 Olympics is the thirtieth in modern times. It being modern times, Roman numerals are used. Thirty in Roman numerals is written XXX. "Oh yes," said Candi Apple, the Gymnastics organiser. "I'd not re...
Read full storyCarol for West Ham?
Sources close to Karen Brady are suggesting Liverpool singer, simply known as Carol, could be joining West Ham for the coming season. However our Liverpool contact tells us that Carol is not keen on the move. 'Since when has Blowing Bubbles been a...
Read full storyShark Survives Being Bitten By Man
Australia recorded its fifth shark attack of the year, when a Great White shark was savagely bitten by a man this morning. The attack occurred off the Brisbane coast, just after dawn. Startled onlookers reported seeing the five metre long Great Wh...
Read full storyFighting Obesity: NYC Mayor Bans Double D Breasts from Breast-Feeding
Dozens of New York City hospitals are instructing mothers of newborns about the myriad benefits of breast milk and to urge them to breast-feed their infants instead of resorting to substandard formulas. "Not only is it healthier than commercial alte...
Read full storyBain Capital Bombshell: Mitt Romney, Tim Yenmor were the same person
BOSTON (August 1)-Mitt Romney claims he left Bain Capital in 1999, but documents signed by him and filed with the SEC in 2002 disclosed that he was the firm's "sole stockholder, chairman of the board, chief executive officer, and president." This di...
Read full storyDemi Moore Crushed At Ashton Kutcher's Relationship With Mila Kunis
LOS ANGELES - Demi Moore says that before it's all over she may end up moving out of the United States to some remote, out-of-the-way place. The 49-year-old highly depressed actress seems to keep getting her ego kicked around as if it is an Olympi...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Dumps One Kennedy For Another
HYANNIS PORT, Massachusetts - It appears that country artist Taylor Swift prefers to keep it in the family; the Kennedy family. The 22-year-old singer spent the Independence Day holidays at the Kennedy Hyannisport Compound in Hyannis Port with Pat...
Read full storyMartin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day One
"Well, that wasn't at all what I expected," said a decidedly disgruntled Martin Shuttlecock, from his garret in Barcelona's notorious El Raval district, last night. "The flight down here was pretty uneventful - although it wasn't a Lear jet, it was at least a jet, one of them airbus things. Still, at least we never did a belly flop onto the M27. And we didn't get served champagne by a bevvy of...
Read full storyMichelle "The First Mama" Obama Picked Up By Olympic Lady Wrestler
LONDON - America's First Lady, Michelle Obama could very well be the most popular American in London, no matter what Bob Costas or Matt Lauer may think. On Sunday merry Michelle hugged every single member of the United States men's basketball team...
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