Red Sox and Red Faced: the 'Loose' Ryan Sweeney

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Not since Amare Stoudemire slammed his fist into a fire extinguisher on the wall has there been a display case of such idiocy as seen with Ryan Sweeney of the Red Sox.

Young #12 has issued a Twitter apology to teammates and fans for his fatuous action. He insisted his action was not "intentional."

Not exactly a superstar, but obviously trade bait, or a throw-in for bigger fish, Sweeney made sure his comfortable seat on the Red Sox bench remained warm.

By slamming his hand into a door in a show of anger, Sweeney may be headed to the overloaded Disability List that has rivaled the Sox roster for star power.

Like a revolving door, as one player returns from an injury, at least one other goes to Club Med to play a few games in the Gulf League while having massages and beach time.

Sweeney is a serviceable right fielder with no home runs this season, but hits like Pete Runnels-or Adrian Gonzalez. In other words, he will not exactly find a permanent home in Boston where Pedro Ciriaco has been playing like Ty Cobb and Cody Ross has been making like Tris Speaker.

Now he awaits x-rays and his next paycheck from the Red Sox. He will be effectively out for the remainder of 2012.

There is no truth to the rumor that it was Ryan Sweeney who walked out of Fenway Park the other day dressed in the Wally the Green Monster costume. Sweeney wants to stay at Fenway.

Sweeney also was not among the Red Sox who gathered around former manager Terry Francona when he entered the Sox clubhouse in New York this past weekend. Players fawned over the deposed manager while Bobby Valentine fiddled in his office. Sweeney was not in that group either.

Any action that could have sent him packing by trade deadline at the end of July no longer will be needed as he has confirmed his position as a man that will not "loose" his temper. Unfortunately, he has let loose his immaturity.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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