Isle of Wight residents preparing for the end of the world
Residents of many villages on The Isle of Wight have been preparing for the end of the world, like many people worldwide. Newby mayor, Arthur Askme (yes - he is STILL in office) told our intrepid female reporter that Newby residents have been prep...
Read full storyFuture News: World Ends on Saturday
(Published in five hours) EARTH/EMPTY SPACE - The 6.9bn humans on the planet saw their entire planet end today. Earth, which has had a long history of several million years, ended after a giant instability in the Earth's core did some 'weird shit...
Read full storyFathers' Day Specials Being Offered at Morrison's. Story from Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough.
Following the interview which our intrepid female reporter carried out with Takwana and Anitakapita regarding their views on Armageddon, we would just like to bring interested readers up to date with what is going on in Berwick Hills. After the i...
Read full storyOh Shit, They're Back! AFC Wimbledon
The sphincter of the footballing world was nipped-in tonight after the news that the bad boys of the game - Wimbledon's Crazy Gang - had won the Blue Square Premier play-off final against Luton Town, to gain promotion back into the Football League.
Read full storyPole dancing lessons offered half-price for EPL footballers. Offering to PAY Man. U. and Man City players to take lessons.
A dancing studio just outside Manchester, is offering half-price pole dancing lessons to all EPL players. They are even offering to pay Man. U. and Man. City players to take the lessons. Teachers of pole dancing do believe that taking their class...
Read full storyLennon's Shock Resignation Stuns Celtic
Celtic manager Neil Lennon has shocked Scottish football by handing in his resignation just minutes after the Parkhead club defeated Motherwell in the Scottish Cup final. The former Northern Ireland international is understood to have received an...
Read full storyTakwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, speak out about The End Of The World
One of the Spoof's female writers recently met with two of her favourite people, in Morrison's Restaurant at Berwick Hills, Middlesbrough. Over plates of fish, chips 'n' mushy peas and cups of tea, they discussed the recent 'panic' over The End Of The World prophecies. "Well," started Takwana, "Ah do admit like, Ah was ded worried when A ferst 'erd it, you know worra mean? Then our lad sed...
Read full storyBall on Line
In a desperate match between a football team and another football team, the ref gave a goal in the dying minutes that was disputed by a player who asserted that the ball was on the line not over it. Online pictures from twitter confirm the footbal...
Read full storyIan Holloway to defy Super Injunction gag
With 'survival sunday' looming, all managers of Premiership clubs have been warned about the legal ramifications of anything they say. QC Humphrey Nonce has backed a Super Injunction by an anonymous footballer forbidding any manager from using the...
Read full storyPippa Middleton gives up eating eggs in respect for the hens who don't get 'sex'.
In an interview given by Pippa Middleton today with "Farmers' Weekly" ace reporter, Chucky Porker, she admitted that she was giving up eating all produts containing hens' eggs. Pippa found out that the only eggs sold for consumption are unfertiliz...
Read full storyArmageddon, The Rapture, Put On Hold Until Tuesday Tea Time
Sources close to Californian evangelist, Harold Camping-Holliday, announced earlier today that the end of the world has been postponed until Tuesday tea time BST. Camping-Holliday had previously announced with utter conviction that the world would...
Read full storyPalin: "If I win Iowa, do I get to be President?"
Sources within the Palin campaign have leaked details of a recent meeting and Sarah Palin is not pleased. Reuters is reporting that a member of her staff, who apparently is not in favor of her presidential run is talking and telling all. A source speaking on condition of anonymity tells Reuters that Todd Palin is the prime suspect. Governor Palin has instructed her entire staff to take...
Read full storySir Fred Goodwin eyes top IMF position
London - His fiscal attributes are the very stuff of legend. And this weekend ex-RBS boss Sir Fred 'The Shred' Goodwin has been nominated to take on the top job at the IMF. Although not endowed with the same bonking - er...banking! - gravitarse...
Read full storyIt smells like evolution!
Befuddled evolutionists are again pushing the limits of credibility with their latest whimsical fairy story. According to characters actually paid by the University of London, about 200 million years ago, some small rodent like creatures developed large olfactory bulbs, found just in front of the brain, this enabled them to smell better. How and why this change came about is like the rest o...
Read full storyMeatpacking District condo stay for Dominique Strauss-Kahn?
New York - An apartment straddling the top floor of a bijou Italianate/Greek Revival-style former abattoir is tipped to shelter the beleaguered ex-IMF CEO, a Manhattan source said today. The plush co-op building is slap bang in the middle of the h...
Read full storyObama Forced to Resign After Making Well-Reasoned, Balanced Argument About Israel
WASHINGTON DC - President Obama resigned from his post today after making ridiculously logical points about the feud in the Middle East. Obama, who appeared on CNN and the BBC, said that Israel needs to 'be more willing to accept a two-party state...
Read full storyWerewolf Freed On Compassionate Grounds
Today Mr Colin Snell, a former librarian, was released from Prison where he had been serving life for the brutal murder of two American hitch-hikers on the Yorkshire moors in the 1980's. Mr Snell apparently became a werewolf after drinking contam...
Read full storyInternational Monetary Fund candidate race hots up
With the retirement of Dominique Strauss-Kahn as head of the IMF as a result of chambermaid stress, the race is on for a replacement. While the most qualified successor seems to be financier Sir Fred Shred Bankruuin, because of his incredibly succ...
Read full storyWayne Rooney had sex with his laptop 2000 times
The latest revelations about Wayne Rooney's love life have rocked the PC World. Sources within the computer repair technical department have revealed that the Manchester United footballer has had his laptop repaired 2000 times this month. An...
Read full storyStrauss-Kahn attacks a West African Ape
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the head of the International Monetary Fund, was arrested at JFK airport in New York accused of attacking a West African gorilla at the Bronx Zoo. He was on an Air France flight and was removed by two officers working for t...
Read full storyKristen Stewart, Vanessa Hudgens, and Cheryl Cole To Shoot The Pilot For The TV Series, 'Vampire Vixens Gone Wild'
BURBANK - NBC has just announced that they will be shooting a television pilot based on the novel by Emersonetta P. Frizzantino titled Vampire Vixens Gone Wild. Frizzantino's book was loosely based on the 1896 novel by Carmelita Maidenhair-Tuscani...
Read full storyDonald Trump Says That Now He Wants To See President Barack Obama's 'Little Black Book'
MANHATTAN - Donald Trump, the host of Celebrity Apprentice continues to strive to remain in the national spotlight. He emailed the president and told him that he would now like to see his little black book. Trump is still embarrassed as hell af...
Read full storySarah and Todd Palin's Son Track Marries Britta Hanson In a Royal Alaskan Wedding With Everyone Dressed in Jeans
HATCHERS PASS, Alaska - The little Alaskan village of Hatchers Pass was the scene of the biggest wedding in the area since 1897, when Eskimo Chief Sha Na Na's daughter Ohh La la married Hookerholt "Snowballs" Broomprackle, the son of Hollander and Sn...
Read full storyPlayboy Magazine At 57: Can People Still Beat Off To It?
For those of us who found a brace of semi-moist Playboy magazines inexplicably stashed in the woods near their home -- and spontaneously gummed up their Underoos with Tween-Jizz before they got home, looking at at Playboy magazine in its 57th year of...
Read full storyScientists learn to speak to animals. Hens are going on strike. 'No sex, no eggs.'
Scientists working in Ontario, have learned, to some degree, how to communicate with a number of animals and birds. A paper recently published by Scientists working out of the University of Strange Science in Ontario, Canada, includes data relating to egg-laying hens and their 'thoughts'. Those scientists who 'allegedly' are able to communicate with these hens announced that they have learne...
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