Strauss-Kahn attacks a West African Ape

Funny story written by Kid Icarus

Saturday, 21 May 2011


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image for Strauss-Kahn attacks a West African Ape
The female gorilla doesn't understand why Strauss-Kahn got desperate for an ape.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the head of the International Monetary Fund, was arrested at JFK airport in New York accused of attacking a West African gorilla at the Bronx Zoo.

He was on an Air France flight and was removed by two officers working for the Port Authority of New York. He was turned over to the Manhattan police.

The 250 pound mother gorilla was in an enclosure at the Bronx Zoo when Mr. Strauss-Kahn developed an attraction for the beast. He climbed over the enclosure and entered the exhibit to kiss the West African gorilla when the female gorilla turned on him and tossed him half way across the exhibit. The gorilla then tore all his clothing off and chased him naked around the exhibit until the 62-year-old Strauss-Kahn was rescued by zoo keepers, NYPD spokesman Paul Black said.

The baby gorilla who was also in the enclosure was unharmed in the scuffle between Strauss-Kahn and its mother. The female baby could be seen running around, jumping, and yelling while carrying Strauss-Kahn's soiled underwear in her right hand.

Because of the media frenzy, grand jurors began to sweat from their faces and were meeting at Manhattan Criminal Court to consider indictments against Strauss-Kahn. The 23 grand jurors were expected to hear from all available witnesses that viewed the incident at the zoo.

James A. Colescott, Grand Wizard of the Alabama National Knights of the Ku Klux Klan revealed plans to hold a rally outside of the court house where the trail will take place. Colescott argues that it's immoral for Strauss-Kahn to mix his white race with a West African gorilla. He points to the fact that such inter-species mixing only embarrasses the white race and causes problems between gorillas and white human beings. The Klan doesn't condemn the gorilla because they consider it to be an inferior creature compared to the white race. The Klan argues that they hold Strauss-Khan solely responsible for not segregating himself from non-whites. They consider the white race to be the most advanced race in the world.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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