Future News: World Ends on Saturday

Funny story written by Inhopeless

Saturday, 21 May 2011


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Empty. The Eyes of Animals In Cages. Empty. The Place Where Earth Once Stood and So Did This Crappy Poem

(Published in five hours) EARTH/EMPTY SPACE - The 6.9bn humans on the planet saw their entire planet end today.

Earth, which has had a long history of several million years, ended after a giant instability in the Earth's core did some 'weird shit to the Earth' stated a scientist who was cowering under the desk.

From London to New York, all civilisations ended with an almighty explosion.

"It was a terrible thing, but, you know," said God/Allah/Yaweh, creator and destroyer of all things, "it had to go. All that pollution, for the love of me!"

"There's a much better planet in the gamma system over there," he added.

How have the human race reacted?

"Well," said David Cameron, UK prime minister, "we gave Argentinia the Falklands back. And we got Gadaffi out, so it's all good..." A car crashed on top of him. I left my phone under there.

"I gotta say," said a Muslim imman at the local mosque, "it was a kinda sorta wierd thing. It was hinted at a lot in all of the holy books of the monotheist religions, so we're a bit to blame."

Humanity ended at approximately 11.59 UTC (00.59 BST or 5.59 New York time).

It leaves behind a speck of silicon holding this very article.

As of press time...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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