Alien Invasion Leek'd On Twitter. World On High Alert.
People all over the world are reported to be hiding in underground bunkers and military bases as reports of a alien invasion hit the media this morning. Two aliens said to have joined the popular networking site Twitter, leek'd information of a co-or...
Read full storyHas Jordan Dumped Alex Reid AGAIN?
As tranny cage fighter Alex Reid was telling his CBB housemates how deeply in love with Jordan he is, and how much she means to him, press speculation increased suggesting that she'd dumped him yet again! The rumour mill went into overdrive today...
Read full storyPat Robertson Offers "Curse Passes" On 700 Club
The Reverend Pat Robertson has announced on his 700 Club program that he will be selling "Curse Passes" to his viewers. "We have seen in Haiti the havoc that can be reaped by God when a land is cursed. Therefore, we have reached a deal with God and w...
Read full storyFred "the Shred" Goodwin starts new job
Disgraced incompetent cockmuncher Fred Goodwin who singlehandledly rogered the nation (this is all my opinion, you understand), and left the Royal Bank of Scotland more f*cked than a Canvey Island Primary School girl on a Saturday Night, has been hir...
Read full storyPsycho film to be remade
The award winning Alfred Hitchcock movie Psycho is to be remade with a few surprise changes. The Bates Motel is to be called Browns Motel run by a character called Gordon Brown. The female thief in the shower scene is to be a character called Susa...
Read full storyAdam Lambert Promises 'Wild Performance' On Oprah, Tuesday
Adam Lambert will make a guest appearance on 'Oprah' this Tuesday from what we hear from some of his friends. Let's hope they don't cut out any of it. No camera tricks during performance. "I promised Oprah no humping on some guy's butt during the...
Read full storyRosie O'Donnell Will Take Over For Charlie Sheen In Two & A Half Men
With all the marriage and family problems coming out his wazzoo, Charlie Sheen has asked to leave the popular television series, "Two & A Half Men". "I got too much on my plate", Sheen was overheard to tell the shows producers. "So I'm going t...
Read full storyPresident Obama Calls Rush Limbaugh An Idiot
After his speech on sending funds to Haiti Saturday, President Obama answered a question hurled from the reporters on the way out. "What about Rush Limbaugh's statement on aid to Haiti?" In response the President simply yelled, "Rush Limbaugh i...
Read full storyUS Mint Offers Service Industry State Quarter Collection. "A Salute to Low Pay, Long Hours, Crappy Benefits, and Non Transferable Skills."
Philadelphia, PA: Officials from the United States Mint announced today the inception of a new commemorative quarter program based on the popular "50 States Quarter Collection." The program, already expanded to include all United States' soverei...
Read full storyCult emerge from their hiding places
The Global Warming Cult have emerged from their hiding places now that the freezing period we have experienced for the past few weeks is coming to an end. Many people see Al Gore as the leader of the cult so they will be pleased to know that he ha...
Read full storyObama fury as 'pants' bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab names Prince William
Washington - (Pie-in-the-Sky): CIA director Leon Panetta may be due for a Wall Street-sized $$$s New Year bonus following the phenomenally successful interrogation of Detroit 'pants' bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. A top flight two year probe in...
Read full storyThe Doors rerelease 'The Unknown Snowman' for their British fans as a tribute to the end of the cold weather spell there
The Doors classic song 'The Unknown Snowman' from the album 'Waiting For The Sun and a Bit of Heat, Mate' was rereleased today, and here are the lyrics: 'Wait until the snow has all gone And we're both a bit warmer The unknown snowman Breakfast where the weather is read Television licence fees that get bled Unknown Taffie with hair that's red Snowflake strikes the dustman's head And...
Read full storyFirst Lady "Flashed" her Husband in Oval Office
Michelle Obama was in the news yesterday for flashing the President, (her husband). Michelle happened to be walking past the Oval Office just as President Obama looked up from the pile of papers on his desk that he was signing. "He had this cut...
Read full storyFuel Economy - A Case Study
Friends of my son Kevin and he went out for the evening recently. They had a designated driver, were safe and had a lot of fun together. One of them, reported the next day on FaceBook exactly how much he drank. He claimed six 32 ounce and three 24 ounce beers. I got to thinking... By my calculations, (6x32) + (3x24) = 264 fluid ounces. There are 128 fluid ounces to a gallon = 2.0625 gallons...
Read full storyGods Aid To Haiti Caught In Grid Lock At Capitals Airport, Sent Back
As the aid for the injured, homeless and starving people floods into the airport at Haiti's capital, there have been wide reports of grid lock for the aid getting out to the people of Haiti. Some of the supplies have even been sent back as part...
Read full storyFrosty The Snowman is Dead
Frosty The Snowman is Dead he died last night in Glasgow after returning from China where the 9 million Snowflakes that landed in Beijing had melted. He arrived in London yesterday and had travelled up to Glasgow where he was on route to Aviemore...
Read full storyKate Gosselin's New Hairdo Helps Her Snag Orlando Bloom
Kate Gosselin of the old Jon and Kate Plus 8 reality show was in town looking for a deal on a brand new SUV. Kate was told that if you buy a vehicle in Detroit you can save as much as $3,000. She added that since her divorce she is on a tight budg...
Read full storyTiger Woods Enters A Rehab Clinic In Mississippi, Far, Far Away From Sexy, Foxy, Money-Hungry Women
Tiger Woods has finally agreed to enter a rehab center to deal with his groin problem of just not being able to keep "Little Tiger" in his pants. Tiger has checked into The Libido Be Gone Sexual Rehabilitation Clinic where he will remain for three...
Read full storyThe Real Dope on British Men and Flat Chested Women
In a shocking study of British Men and Women, Sexopsychologists from the Bronze Tush Institute have concluded that 33% of British men are in fact, gay. Within the study, it was found that 17% of men in the UK find large breasts a complete turnoff...
Read full storyWithdrawal Of Porn From Internet Makes The Super Information Highway A Wasteland.
With the announcement last week of all porn sites withdrawing there content from the internet, it seems the Super Information Highway has become a wasteland. The enormous gap left by the content being deleted has been "impossible to fill" says loc...
Read full story'Disco Is Dead' Says Local New Jersey Man
A local New Jersey man, 43y.o Garth Rodgers said to have "hit the disco clubs" last night was left in shock when he entered a local club. "I could not believe what i saw! Almost every woman had a mini skirt and a tight top. You could almost see t...
Read full storyThe citizens will be the big winners in 2010
The citizens will be the big winners in 2010 and Obamacare will be the final straw that breaks Harry Reid's back. He will attempt still another devious abuse of the Senate rules out of view of the American people and this time it will backfire. H...
Read full storyLane Kiffin Says: The Only Reason I Left Tennessee Was So My Wife Could be a Cheerleader at USC!
Stories continue to unfold about the mysterious and late night defection of University of Tennessee Football coach Lane Kiffin to football powerhouse, USC. Details of Gypsy Coach Kiffin's contract at USC reveal some surprising perks never before...
Read full storyPolice Break Up Computer Porn Ring
San Francisco CA: SFPD vice officers raided a computer service center owned by a computer geek named Mr. Newsom. When the police first entered the shop they found Mr. Newsom was playing with a dongle. There were various sizes of used floppy's lay...
Read full storyObese man hired to produce personal pork scratchings
An obese UK man from Sunderland has been hired to help a local butcher shop produce its own brand of pork scratchings with a twist. After spending years of outsourcing its pork scratchings, Hank Bacon decided that there must have been a cheaper wa...
Read full storyParenthood Organisation Closes It's Doors
Predicted Pregnancy, a low or no-cost organization mostly utilized by teens to avoid unwanted pregnancies has closed. A spokesperson for the organization that wished not to be identified said Senator Orrin Hatch from Utah who has often said he wou...
Read full storyBusiness Destroyed By Ice Cube
A man in Bracknell has taken his local watering hole to court over alleged misleading information of a drink he was served. The Blue Boar served Daniel Wagstaff a rum and coke at approximately 9:37pm on Friday night. The barmaid asked if he would...
Read full storyAirport scanner reveals man's third butt cheek
TSA suspend two airport screeners after they were caught making posters of a man that appeared through the scanner to have three butt cheeks. The cellulite challenged man who boarded a flight to Boise Idaho and was never informed that he was a c...
Read full storyObama Admits Acting Competently on Haiti Solely to Annoy His Critics
U.S. President Barack Obama admitted today that he responded swiftly and competently to the disaster in Haiti solely for the purpose of annoying his critics. "My first impulse was to go have birthday cake with John McCain," Obama told reporters, "...
Read full storyOfficials Discover Al Qaeda Operating Rogue Aviation Network: Low Fares but Horrible Safety Record
TIMBUKTU, Mali - In early 2008, an official at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security sent a report to his superiors detailing the most significant development in aircraft usage since 2001: al Qaeda has been operating a rogue aviation network. Fran...
Read full story