Mugabe's Escape Plan Foiled
Robert Mugabe's cover for an escape from strife torn Zimbabwe was blown yesterday following the accidental release of a photo of his alter ego Jessie Kanobe a travelling Elton John impersonator.
Read full story22 Caught
Elusive since 1961, 22 has finally been caught, putting an end to one of the last century's most enduring mysteries. The capture of 22 means Orr and the rest of the Fighting 256th Squadron can finally hang up their flying helmets and enjoy life.
Read full storyWachowski Brothers Hired to Fake Future Moon Landings
Houston, TX - Anonymous sources at NASA have revealed that the Wachowski Brothers, famous for the Matrix series, have been hired to fake the next generation of moon landings late in the next decade.
Read full storyWimbledon 2008: Maria Sharapova Beaten In "No Knickers" Shock
Wimbledon got another shock to its system today, when Maria Sharapova, the number 3 seed, crashed out to world number 154 Alla Kudryavtseva, but the biggest shock was saved for the very last point of the game, when S...
Read full storyAmericans will win Euro 08 Championships
The USA will later this year suddenly win the European Championships, months after Germany do.
Read full storyAmericans Finally Understand What The Word 'Satire' Means
In a surprise finding, Americans today finally understood what the word 'satire' means.
Read full storyAl Jolson To Headline Glastonbury
Today the list of performers at this year's Glastonbury Festival was announced, and it will be headlined by wild man of rock Al Jolson.
Read full storyWanted: A Robot With a Big WALL-E at the Box Office
(La La Land, CA) - Normally sex and animation don't mix. But with the success of the Jack Black bestiality and violence cartoon Kung Fu Panda paving the way, Pixar heads back into theaters this week with WALL-E,...
Read full storySupreme Court: Second Amendment Rights Apply Only to Child Rapists
In a decision that legal experts have referred to as "colossally confusing" and "precedent-setting in its dumbness," the U.S. Supreme Court found, in a 5-4 ruling, that the Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution only applies to...
Read full storyBritney Spears- foopS I Did It Again Spoof
Once again poor little Britney "empty pram" Spears is in the news for all the wrong reasons and it is to be hoped that one day soon we may get to read a happy jolly Britney story, one that may reflect in a good light the ernomous reality of...
Read full storyHarriet Harman pushes dodgy female haircut plan
Equality minister Harriet Harman has set out plans to allow positive discrimination towards female job candidates with iffy hairdoes. She said firms should be able to choose a woman with a pudding bowl hairstyle with a long side parting stuck on it o...
Read full storyWTF are they doing in North Carolina?
(Raliegh, NC) - Thanks to some sharp eyed grandchildren and one overly sensitive grandparent, the North Carolina DMV has decided to replace for free any license plate containing the letter combination "WTF." Told of this potentially $400,0...
Read full storyBallack For Folan Exchange-Big Phil Explodes With Rage
Sources close to Hull City supremo Big Phil Brown have let it be known through trusted third parties in the viking fish & chip shop, Anlaby Road, Ull upon Umber, of the great man's disgust at the behaviour of little Phil Schooli and indeed Chelsk...
Read full storyRiot at Hot Dog Eating Contest
Riverdale, The Bronx: A near-riot broke out at the Hebrew National Kosher Hot Dog Eating Contest when local favorite, Constantine Thessalonikos, was disqualified after apparently winning first prize for eating 72 frankfurters in 15 minutes.
Read full storyMassive Oil Reserves Found In Zimbabwe - US "peacekeeping" Forces Prepare For War
Reports coming out of Africa have indicated that a "substantial and significant" amount of oil has been discovered deep below the earth in strife torn Zimbabwe.
Read full storyFire rocks Glastonbury Festival as Winehouse beehive hairpiece-shaped UFO scrambled
Worthy Farm, Somerset - (Freaky Mess): RAF jets scrambled a mysterious UFO shaped like Amy Winehouse's bouffant beehive hairdo today just as a curious bong-like object emerged from inside, smouldering and spluttering ominously over the Glastonbu...
Read full storyTempera Re to begin operations in London
Tempera Re, the latest start-up off-the-peg turnkey multi-line disaster-in-the-making reinsurer, is to commence writing business in London's LUC in the near future, having been granted a licence by the Fiscal Stupidity Authority. According to its...
Read full storyQueen Reverses Robert Mugabe Honour
Her Majesty the Queen has reversed an Honour given to Zimbabwe dictator Sir Dr Robert Mugabe, it has been announced, with the reversal to take immediate effect.*...
Read full storyWhite Male Workers Banned in Britain
After centuries of dominance, the British white male worker has been banned from applying for any jobs that could be done by women or by ethnic workers.
Read full storyNew rail energy committee to be sponsored by opticians' society
The recently announced government committee to look into future power for the railways - The Solar Panel - headed by Transport Secretary Ruth Kelly, is to receive major sponsorship from the opticians' British Ophthalmic Anaesthesia Society.
Read full storyDBC annouces title fight!
The rematch of the planet was announced today. Lucifer "morning star" Seraphim was to be given a rematch with Jesus "Holy Trinity" Carpenter in the revenge match of all time.
Read full storyMugabe refuses to take part in run off
Robert Mugabe announced today he would not take part in the vote in the poll of the world's greatest living dictators...
Read full storyZimbabwe Cricket Team Refuses To Tour England
The Zimbabwe cricket team has cancelled its tour of England next year, amid growing unrest in Harare over the conduct of some BBC reporters, who are still transmitting reports from within the country.
Read full storyHull City Withdraw Mugabe's Season Ticket-All Out War Expected
Dictator of Zimbabwe Sir Robert Mugabe yesterday suffered a series of humiliating blows which will no doubt lead to genocide, bloodshed, all out civil war and the inevitable end of his dictatorial reign.
Read full storyOzzy Osbourne Finds Mars Lander in Fridge
Beverly Hills - Phoenix Mars Lander malfunctions have been explained by accidental discovery of the Lander in the freezer of famed singer Ozzy Ozbourne. "I was just looking for some ice to mix a drink when the thing shouted at me like a...
Read full storyBlack Messiah In Promised Land Promise
Handbills and flyers with the words. I shall lead you my people to the promised land for I am the truth the light and the guvnor and you can call me the guvnor. Have been found discarded on the floor of the small Lancashire Village of Blackburn.
Read full storyZimbabwe Holiday Bookings Down, Say Travel Agents
Travel agents say that the number of holidaymakers planning to travel to Zimbabwe this year is down more than 90% on last year's figure, owing to exceedingly warm temperatures in the country.
Read full storyThe George W. Bush Sewerage Plant Of San Francisco
On the ballot for the November election in San Francisco, California, is the proposal to rename the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant, the George W. Bush Sewerage Plant. Over eight thousand signatures have been collected and voting officials ar...
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