Pognoy in hostile shareholder pod Nugent
Retailer Pognoy posted 'disappointing' first quarter results today, blaming the recent decision by their CEO to go on the rampage with a machine gun through a kindergarten.
Read full storyApple Goes from Strength to Strength
Apple Corps have followed up their highly successful iPhone with the iDrunk, a new version of the phone for the discerning alcoholic.
Read full storyBritney Spears and Eminem talk about an album
So maybe her haircut wasn't to "buzz worthy" to some, but according to her management this time it's not Britney and Madonna against the music, its Britney and Eminem against the world!...
Read full storyScientists Mark Dolly The Sheep's Anniversary
Today, Feb. 22, marks the 10th anniversary of the birth of Dolly, the cloned sheep. Dolly is now stuffed for display in a Scotland museum.
Read full storyPrince Harry may not serve in Iraq
Prince Harry's regiment is to be sent to Iraq for a six-month tour of duty, defence officials have confirmed but the boy Prince could be left at home.
Read full storyBritney's Rehab Rehab
Britney Spears is back in rehab to treat her new-found addiction to rehab clinics. She has been in five different ones in the last year and still shows no sign of improvement.
Read full storyLotto for the drop
After observing over 4000 men for a period of six years it has been established that men who hang to the left are more likely to gamble on the national lotto than men who hang to the right.
Read full storyMarks and Spencer Introduce Pre- digested Range
In 1884 Michael Marks formed a partnership with Tom Spencer. It would have been impossible for the two to have predicted how the next hundred years would shape their legacy. Having successfully negotiated wartime rationing and subsequent domestic dep...
Read full storyTony Blair Has Massive Tantrum!
Staff at one of London's most prestigious department stores were left stunned today after a surprise visit by PM Tony Blair ended in controversy when the great man had a massive tantrum after his wife, Cherie Blair (QC) wouldn't let him buy a...
Read full story8th grade jock outsources bullying to Indian exchange student
Westport, OH: To the shock of the Westport Middle school, 15 year old Richard Moir has outsourced nearly 50% of his bully activities to Srinath Venkatasendhilaramanipillai, an exchange student from Coimbatore, India. Although he was at first reluctan...
Read full storyBoxer Eubank arrested protesting about Harry
London - (Rotters): Former world boxing champ Chris Eubank has been arrested after carrying a placard outside the Ministry of Defence in Whitehall protesting about Prince Harry being sent on active duty to war-torn Peckham where armed police officers...
Read full storyMidget immigrant stowaways found in Lindsay Lohan's gaping vagina
Seven Canadian midgets have been discovered attempting to smuggle themselves into the USA. They were found inside Lindsay Lohan as she walked through a dwarf scanner at the airport, on her way back from a week's holiday in Vancouver.
Read full storyIraqis queue up for chance to meet Prince Harry
Monarchists in Iraq had wonderful news today when it was announced that Prince Harry, the ginger grandson of Her Majesty the Queen, is to visit their peaceful and welcoming land.
Read full storyCharles demands one of Saddam's palaces for Harry
Clarenece House - (Rotters): Aides working for the Pretender to the Throne have confirmed today that Charles has demanded that Harry is given one of Saddam's former palaces when he starts his work experience tour of Baghdad next month.
Read full storyTrue Lice: satirical website The Spoof! spoofs major UK tabloids
London - (Riotous): Two British national tabloid newspapers have been spoofed by satirical website The Spoof! after running a major news item about beleagured pop singer Britney Spears shaving her head because "she thought lice were eating her...
Read full storyAmaechi Shouts, "Stop the Press. I'm Not Gay - Just Really, Really Happy"
London - On the eve of his autobiographical release "Man in the Middle," former professional basketball player, John Amaechi called an urgent press conference to make an announcement regarding the allegations made about his homosexuality.
Read full story'Wife Swap' Spawns 'Three's Company' Comeback
HOLLYWOOD-(TV Guide) There's a new saying down at ABC Studios: Too much of a good thing is just the thing! The ratings-grabbing smash hit WIFE SWAP's latest episode had quite the unexpected ending. L...
Read full storyBurma's Generals may release Aung San Suu Kyi
Rangoon- Today in the humid tropicality of the Burmese capital, a heavily perspiring military official from the ruling junta's ministry of readily prepared information announced to waiting journalists that following talks with leaders of the Burm...
Read full storyBeards For Justice In New Initiative
Beards for Justice, the pressure group that is championing the cause of greater acceptance of face-fuzz in society, has today announced a new awareness drive in the hope of getting their message across to the public at large.
Read full storyIrish boy-band 'The Bee-Geesus' storm British charts with Britney Spears cover
Move over Take That! Feck off Westlife! There's a new group in town and they're taking the British pop scene by storm.
Read full storyCourt battle rages on as Kevin Federline sues for custody of Britney Spears' vagina
Pop princess, Britney Spears, is to appear in court later this week after it was revealed that her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, is attempting to get custody of her vagina.
Read full storyNew ASDA Maternity Units Help Deliver 8,000 New Babies In 2007
ASDA are to deliver 8,000 news babies by installing a minimum of 18 new maternity units across the UK this year, the store announced today. In addition, it is to carry out improvements to 14 of its existing stores and roll out the successful crèche f...
Read full story'Forensic Scientist' Arrested
Mr I Fakeditall, a so called 'Forensic Scientist' from Dudley has been arrested today after police became suspicious that he was nothing of the kind.
Read full storyRoyal Prince Shuns Danger Role
Prince Edward has shocked Royal watchers today by insisting that, whenever he has Royal duties to perform, then he is sent to the place concerned to do just that, rather than diplomatically left at a desk in "safe" Buckingham Palace.
Read full storyCrazy Bush Reveals Weapons Of Mass Extinction
Military scientists in the US have made a major technological and biological breakthrough in the campaign against terror. Genetic experts have managed to regenerate near-extinct and long-dead creatures, modifying them so that they can be used to the...
Read full storyCelebrity Big Brother Jade Goody Takes A Bath, Sinks Holland
Much of what is known as 'Holland' is under three metres of water this morning, as a result of the worst flooding ever seen in this part of Europe.
Read full storyDoctor Who Casting Update - Joan Sims is the Master!
After hours of speculation, the identity of Doctor Who's arch Nemesis, the Master can now be exclusively revealed.
Read full storyRotherham United look to former rap star to ease relegation fears
Rotherham United manager Alan Knill was said to be 'extremely pleased' with the loan signing of former rapper Snoop Dogg.
Read full storyVP Cheney at Odds With Senator McCain Over Rumsfeld Insults
WASHINGTON (AP) - Vice President Dick Cheney on Wednesday challenged GOP presidential leader Senator John McCain's insult that Donald H. Rumsfeld was "one of America's worst defense secretaries."...
Read full storyFake Doctor Gillian McKeith Gets Support From Dr. John Reid
Dr. Gillian McKeith, the TV nutritionalist, who has been told by the advertising standards authority not to use her doctorate to endorse products because it's not up to much, has received support from fellow Scot, Dr. John Reid (...
Read full storyBritney Spears Staggers Out Of Clinic To Get A Drink
Britney Spears has checked out of her Malibu Rehabilitation Clinic after just one day.
Read full storyBritney Spears' Journal Found in a Texaco Restroom
Britney Spears has been photographed the last few days carrying her dog, a Blackberry and a journal. Everyone has speculated as to the contents of that notebook. It seems Britney went into a local L.A. Texaco bathroom and left the journal behind.
Read full storyNew Fox Reality Series Will Let Judges Compete to Get Their Own TV Show
HOLLYWOOD - Judge Larry Seidlin, the Broward Circuit Court judge who has turned the fight over the late Anna Nicole Smith's body into his personal 15 minutes of stardom, just may have his shot at celebrity yet.
Read full storyBritish Commanders Iraq Strategy: Coitus Interruptus
Call it "coitus interruptus", "withdrawal", "pulling out" or "goin' home to mama", that's the UK commanders answer to Basra Bomb Bingo.
Read full storyBritney Spears Shaves Off the Rest of Her!
From tattoos to baldness to skinning alive, Ms Spears has done it all this week. Sources close to the princess of pathology explains it this way:...
Read full storySafety First!
Safety first! is the new motto of every product produced by every industry in every country. Lakes, pools, bays and oceans are now labeled "Drowning Hazard!" along with every pail,bucket and cup of tea!...
Read full storyBuster and the Baby Angel, chapter 10
This disappearing act was far from the first time Buster found himself stunned and alone, though it was the first time he could remember it happening after a kiss. His introductory introduction to abandonment came when Gypsy Mom decided to take to the caravan road without him. He didn't count his abusive Dad's departure since it came early and often like the Election Day voters in Chi tow...
Read full storyBritney Spears Desperate : Latest Bizarre Twist
Britney Spears has posed for a milk carton ad listing herself as a missing person. The grainy photo of 'bald as a coot' Brit is set to grace breakfast tables across the USA.
Read full storyBritney Spears a Two Time Rehab Looser
Britney Spears checked out of rehab again just hour after checking In for the second time in as many weeks. Apparently Britney is just not up for bunking with 3 other girls on a dormitory type situation.
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