Pop princess, Britney Spears, is to appear in court later this week after it was revealed that her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, is attempting to get custody of her vagina.
A spokesman for Mr Federline told reporters today that the one-time backing dancer and failed rapper was determined to have his day in court, in order to have unlimited access to his ex-wifes genitalia.
"Miss Spears' recent bizarre behaviour and her obviously erratic lifestyle have driven Mr Federline to persue this course of action," said Bob Snakepit, Mr Federline's attorney, "My client believes that her recent behaviour has put undue stress on her hairy fun-box and that she has neglected it's welfare by going out every night knickerless, thus exposing it to the harsh Californian winter."
Miss Spears, who yesterday fled rehab for a second time, is said to be distraught at the prospect of losing her vagina and has vowed to fight the custody case however, after her recent outlandish activities, including shaving her head and vomiting into her handbag, the future looks bleak.
The case has split America down the middle with many Pro-Britney groups believing that the genitals should remain with their present owner, however, Fathers-for-vaginas spokesman, Karl Upton, claimed that this could be a landmark case for dispossessed husbands.
"In many cases the rights of the husband are forgotten in divorce proceedings," he told us, "When you get married, you make a commitment and, although I couldn't care less if I never saw that fat fucker of a wife of mine ever again, I would, nonetheless, like access to her vagina at weekends and during school holidays."
