Clarenece House - (Rotters): Aides working for the Pretender to the Throne have confirmed today that Charles has demanded that Harry is given one of Saddam's former palaces when he starts his work experience tour of Baghdad next month.
Reports indicate that only a fully refurbished regal residence will suffice and must include fixtures and fittings such as remote-controlled lap-dancing bar, en-suite throne room (Palace-speak for decent lavatory), indoor polo practice field plus the usual accoutrements to accommodate his entourage (reliable coke dealer, unlimited crates of Bollinger, innoculated hookers and SAT NAV Bentley).
Harry is to be guarded by the Met's elite Royal Protection Squad of ten officers who will shadow his every move as he goes about fiercely fighting for George Bush's ego during the death throes of the Poodle Administration in Drowning Street.
A largely ceremonial contingent of two dozen corgis, five polo ponies, the Buckingham Palace maccaw, Chelsey Davy's pussy and Grandma's pet rattlesnakes will accompany Harry on his three month tour which is being sponsored by Halo! magazine.
