Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 22 February 2007

image for Britney Spears Staggers Out Of Clinic To Get A Drink

Britney Spears has checked out of her Malibu Rehabilitation Clinic after just one day.

The bald-headed former singer, who suffers from alopecia, packed her vest and jeans, and called a cab, saying that she needed a drink.

"I know how she feels", said Dr Moreau of the Winos-R-Us Clinic, "I work here. I need a drink myself."

The $50,000-a-day clinic has an excellent reputation and an unsurpassed success rate - one of its patients briefly gave up drinking alcohol in 1986 - and is favoured by Hollywood film stars, musicians and other shining exponents of screaming petulance.

A cleaner at the clinic, Judith Skivvy, said "Britney got upset when one of the residents, 84-year-old Fred, said he'd never heard of her. That was it. She just stormed out."

A spokeswoman for the clapped-out star, Glenda Slagg, said "She'll be back tomorrow, or the next day, depending on where the party is."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Britney Spears

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