Huckabee Counters Ron Paul, Returns Albino Philanderer Donation
Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee has received a $1000 campaign contribution from a known albino sex addict and says he plans to return "every red-eyed cent." Charles Mugsby, owner of the lurid, adults-only site WhiteRide.com ex...
Read full storyThe First Noel
A frightful feud has arisen between Noel Edmonds (cuddly game show host) and Noel Fielding (effeminate yet oddly appealing comedian) about who has been the first person to make the name Noel cool.
Read full storyWhy God will never allow Jesus to return - new scroll unearthed at Jerusalem dig reveals God's final Word to Man.
Christians all over the world have long awaited the Second Coming of the Messiah. American televangelists have readied their 'fateful' flock to go to Israel and convert all Jews to the one true religion - Americanism - with the return of Jes...
Read full storySanta in missing details row
Santa Claus was at the centre of a new row after it was announced that his staff had lost the names of billions of children who had been naughty or nice over the last year.
Read full storyBritain's Prisons to Close
Today the government hinted that it is not interested in people who are given custodial sentences of less than a year anyway, so why should they be interested in those with 10 years either?...
Read full storyPrince Jefri at heart of Royal Academy's Russian art theft fears
London - (Even Worse Ass Mess): Brunei's most accomplished terrorist gangster Prince Jefri Archer is at the heart of allegations that artworks systematically looted from the UK ended up in Russian mobsters' hands.
Read full storyCops probe Mayor Livingstone's crack dealing arrangements
City Hole - (Bas Ass Mess): Mayor Ken Livingstone's right hand man Lee Jaspa is the top suspect in the disappearance of £2,500,000 of London taxpayers' funds which are suspected of having been turned into a lucrative crack cocaine dealing ven...
Read full storyVice President Cheney Goes Hunting Tragedy Results
The United States Fish and Wildlife Service Special Agents based in Arkansas reported that a hunting tragedy has occurred during the latest hunting expedition mounted by Vice President Cheney.
Read full storySenator Ted Stevens Flexes Muscle Senator Kennedy Outraged
In yet another very crafty move, Senator Ted Stevens, republican Alaska, deftly supplanted an eleventh hour earmark into a seemingly innocent bill.
Read full storyWhite House Unveils the President's New Bill of Wrongs
Dana Perino, the White House Press Secretary, at a news conference today in the West Wing announced that President Bush had issued a new Executive Order to combat his Global War on Terror™.
Read full storyMagician Sought by Capital Police
Washington, DC - Yesterday evening, as President Bush concluded his town hall meeting on taxation and crime, he mingled with the attendees on the South Lawn. The meeting was intended to demonstrate citizen participation in the political process, so W...
Read full storyEd-E-torial 18: Ed Spanks The Monkey While Lindsay Lohan Goes Playstation
(New York-NY) Call it what you will, spanking the monkey, turning Japanese, choking the chicken or the good old sin of Onan. But Ed puts the question out there: Is internet porn the path to enlightenment?...
Read full storyBoy sold on Internet Auction Site
For the first time ever, a four year old child has been sold on an internet auction site.
Read full storyGinger Spice Arrested on Terrorism Charges
Geri Halliwell from The Spice Girls has been arrested by anti-terrorism officers on charges of "planning a terror attack".
Read full storyProstitution To Become Illegal In UK
There was a 'backbench revolt' in the House of Commons this afternoon when it was announced by Minister for Pleasure Alan Perve that Prostitution, the oldest trade in the world, is to become...
Read full storyLily Allen Pregnant (Or Is She?)
Lily Allen, the new Princess of Pop, has claimed that she is pregnant in an attempt to rid herself of the title of ... Health experts, though, are not convinced, and say it could be a 'front' for her continued and unmanageabl...
Read full storyNorman Mailer May Have Gotten 'Whacked'
New York, NY (Times Staff Reporter) - One month after it began, the investigation into writer Norman Mailer's death is far from complete. Authorities immediately questioned "renal failure" as the manner of death. Although Mr. Mailer d...
Read full storyFormer Basketball Stars Provide Surprise Role in U.S. Presidency Run
Iowa, US and A (Reuterus) - William 'Jefferson' Clinton and Earvin 'Magic' Johnson recently began appearing together in a show of support for Hillary 'Rodham' Clinton. Though it may surprise some voters, the prominent friends...
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