Norman Mailer May Have Gotten 'Whacked'

Funny story written by SpaceElevator

Friday, 21 December 2007

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New York, NY (Times Staff Reporter) - One month after it began, the investigation into writer Norman Mailer's death is far from complete. Authorities immediately questioned "renal failure" as the manner of death. Although Mr. Mailer did have lung surgery at Mount Sinai Hospital one month prior to his death, eyewitnesses claim that his kidneys were sound.

"I'm no lung expert," said an unidentified Manhattan police detective. "But I do know that the lungs and the kidneys are different organs."

One leading theory has it that Mailer, an outspoken social critic in America, offended the wrong people.

Bystanders near the hospital claim to have seen a suspicious-looking octogenarian fleeing the scene that day. Evidently he used a walker and wore Wellington boots. For this reason investigators believe that the assassin was probably an outsider from Canada who escaped back across the border.

An international effort is currently underway to identify the mystery man via border security cameras. The public is asked to be on the lookout for an elderly man with a walker (or possibly a cane) and plain galoshes.

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