Royal Engagements Diarrhoea: National Youth Molesting Orchestras of Scotland visit tops the bill
Buckingham Palace - (Rotters): In a busy week for the Hellfire Club House of Windsor, the Earl of Wessex's Wednesday visit to the The National Youth Molesting Orchestras of Scotland tops the bill:...
Read full storyCherie: we must help IRA keep out of jail
London - (Ass Press): Britain's prison system is no place to incarcerate IRA thugs who should continue to donate huge loans to the Labour Party ahead of their contiued elevation to the House of Lords as Life Peers.
Read full storyEnvironmental scientists announce shocking finding.
Berlin, Germany- This week environmental scientists at a world convention on global warming announced a shocking discovery they have.
Read full story"I am the dark horseshit candidate": Thompson declares 2008 presidential bid
Wisconsin - (Frankly Ludicrous Press): Tommy Thompson, former Wisconsin Governor and Bush Administration anthrax specialist, has thrown his hat into the 2008 presidential ring.
Read full storyPrestigeous Humor Website NSA Sting Operation.
According to a classified document obtained by our investigative reporter, the prestigious humor website TheSpoof.com is a covert sting operation run by the National Security Agency (NSA) to out opponents of the The Sheik Formerly Kn...
Read full storyRobespierre Praises American Culture
DaRtagnan Robespeirre Prime Minister of the New ascerbic state of KaNeF has gone on record for the second time since his nations inception...
Read full storyCondoleezza Rice To Run For President in 2008
WASHINGTON D.C.--(MONKEYFIST) Where iz dat white womenz? I'z gonna kick her azz!", Spewed the feisty Condi Rice, referring to Hilary Clinton, after announcing her run for the White House in 2008
Read full storyStudy Shows Men Who Cheat on Wives Make Better Presidents
A recent study at Johns Hopkins University showed a distinct correlation between strong, decisive leaders and presidents who commit adultery.
Read full storySecond Super Duper Snoopers To Snoop On Super Snoopers
Police safety cameras have been so successful in collecting shed loads of money that there are plans to roll out a new type of surveillance camera. This time the super-snoopers will be concentrating on people who already snoop on us and the snoopers...
Read full storyHarry Potter and the Death Hole
J.K. Rowling author of the unusually popular Harry Potter series held a press conference in London to talk about the plot of Harry Potter and the Death Hole. The story centres around Harry Fucker-...Potter? are you sure? it says Fucker on my sheet...BILLY! IT'S NOT FUNNY I WILL KICK YOUR WHITE ASS! Harry POTTER and his friends Hermione Grazer-...Granger? no way but...BILLLY! Hermione GRANGER a...
Read full storyGonzales Takes Alzheimer's Test for Faulty Memory
Since his recent memory loss regarding his involvement with the firings of eight attorneys, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has been ordered to take an Alzheimer's test. Here are the results:...
Read full storyBlades of Glory to go Dancing With the Stars
Dancing with the stars... on ice! That's the premise thought up by a young, unobservant intern at NBC.
Read full storyAmerican Idol to Drop Most Contestants and Bring Back Last Twelve Hotties
In a surprise move, American Idol has dropped all but two of their current finalists and invited back the last ten cut attractive female contestants. They have also announced a cooperative marketing deal with Hugh Hefner and the Playboy empire. S...
Read full storyChris Sligh Throws Temper Tantrum After American Idol Boot
Chris Sligh threw an "I didn't want to play with you anyway" after his American Idol sendoff on Wednesday. Sligh, the chunky contestant with curly hair, glasses, and the hottie wife, claimed that he wasn't trying to win and was sel...
Read full storyDavid Hicks Escapes Guantanamo, Finally Heading Home to be Imprisoned
David Hicks, the Australian man held at Guantanamo Bay for five years without charge, where he was allegedly subjected to torture, is finally being released.
Read full storyBlair offers to wear headscarf in Al-Jazeera TV apology interview
Drowning Street - (Foolsday Press): In a bid to shore up the Asian sympathy vote UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has offered to wear a traditional headscarf on a live Al-Jazeera TV interview while apologising for the Royal Navy straying into troubled Ira...
Read full storyBill Clinton offers to catch cancer
Washington DC - (Foolish Press): Greater love hath no spouse or political mentor than to lay down their public image for a few all important votes.
Read full storyNostradamus Predicted Sanjaya Malakar American Idol Winner!
Famed Nostradamus scholar, Dr. Bernard Woolybottom, has revealed that Nostradamus predicted Sanjaya Malakar as the winner of American Idol 2007.
Read full storyBush's 15 Billion to Fight AIDS Is Only Budget With A Surplus!
Budget Busting Bush has finally found a line item where he can begin to duplicate the surpluses that made Clinton famous. (He still has not found an intern to repeat what made Clinton infamous).
Read full storyCardinal Edward Egan: Chocolate CH-CH-rist Got Me Sick!
Famous for his love of chocolate and infamous for his protection of Priests and paying substandard wages to Catholic School teachers, Cardinal Eddie Egan admits that eating the chocolate Ch-rist got him sick...
Read full storyFormer Wives of Republican Presidential Candidates to be "Taken Care Of" on Skywalk
The Grand Old Party, the Party of family values, has a problem. Too many wives, too many families.
Read full storyFDA Bans Microwave Ovens As Harmful to Human Health
WASHINGTON (AP) - The US FDA has banned the use of microwave ovens since food which is heated in a microwave inevitably causes cancer as the molecular structure of the food, and even human blood is changed, FDA Chief Ralph Roachman said at a well-att...
Read full storyGeorge Bush to Pull Troops Out of Iraq and Find Peaceful Solution... April Fool
Leader of the free world, George Bush, has announced today that he intends to pull American and allied troops out of Iraq and look for a peaceful solution to the conflict.
Read full storyBangladesh Ecstatic Over Humiliating Aussies
(Dhaka Times To Come 1/4/07) There is dancing in the streets of the Bangladesh capital, Dhaka, as news of the latest World Cup scores filter through from the Caribbean.
Read full storyTrumpeter Cooper Blown Away By Cricketers
Anyone who has seen a cricket game involving England in recent years will be aware of the Barmy Army's tooting trumpeter Billy Cooper. It seems Cooper's latest appearance may have been his last.
Read full storyUncle Sam desperately needs you
American government agencies have been busy trying to enlist new recruits using novel methods never attempted before the days of the War on Terror.
Read full storyNational Society of Comedians Approves Genocide as Topic of Jokes
In a move long anticipated in the comedy and entertainment world, the National Society of Comedians (NCS) has approved the use of "jokes of and about genocide." The NCS, which decides when and if certain controversial topics can be joked ab...
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