WASHINGTON D.C.--(MONKEYFIST) Where iz dat white womenz? I'z gonna kick her azz!", Spewed the feisty Condi Rice, referring to Hilary Clinton, after announcing her run for the White House in 2008.
Along with the surprising announcement comes a more dazzling look for the Secretary of State. "I desidez to go to da Apollo Beauty Saa-lon fo' a new look. I waz ty-aud of ma "Alberto VO-5" hair spray lookin flip hair style. Sumtin' new waz needed & I'z fixed ma David Lettahman tooth-gap, Did ya'll noticed? It'z gone! I even thought of changin' ma name to da one who inspired me, Omarosa, from dat T.V. show "the Apprentice". But, den I thought bout it and it seem to sound too much like Oh-bama. It might confuse da votahz. Who knoz maybe Condi or Candy might be a bettah choise, we'll see."
The nomination from the Republican's ultimately must have the political clout needed to get out of the gate. President Bush signed off on the idea of a Madam President with this to say, "I think Condi, deciding to run for the greatest job in the whole wide world is a fantastic idea! She not only has the international and home recognition needed for the position, she also has "I'm gonna slam you into the cement!" written all over her face. That should keep those insurgents and towel-heads at bay. Let me tell you, Barack Obama wouldn't stand a chance running against her. He looks too pussy-whipped and probably fights like a girl. Besides Barack Obama sounds like a name Sad-damn Hussein would've chose for his prize camel."
When we polled the American voter & asked the question "Is America ready for a black or women President? The polls were very favorable to that suggestion. When we asked Condi what she thought of those results, she had this to say, "Told ya. I belivez dat dey iz too many white folk at da White House, just hangin' around. We gotta giv em a broom and a dust pan, soz dey keep buzy puttin' in an honest dayz work and not be stealin' from the American folks likes dey do."
We asked Ms. Rice, What is the first thing she would do if she got elected President of the United States of America? "I'd call Home Depot and ask if dey got lotz of black house paint on hand. I have a job fo' you."
April Fools, you Fool!
