Famous for his love of chocolate and infamous for his protection of Priests and paying substandard wages to Catholic School teachers, Cardinal Eddie Egan admits that eating the chocolate Ch-rist got him sick
"As a kid I always ate a whole Easter Bunny by myself and the Chocolate cross was a favorite of all fourteen of the Egan brats. But there was never a Crucified Christ on the cross, just those sugar lilies. So when I saw this Chocolate Jesus during my Lenten fast from candy (the treat and the whore) I just couldn't resist. It was sweeter than milk and honey and those tasteless communion wafers. I immediately e-mailed the Vatican with the idea that chocolate Necco wafers could bring fallen away Catholic Chocoholics back to Holy Mother Church."
Egan predicts the Body of the Chocolate Ch-rist could be a powerful reminder of the true presence and bring mile long communion lines. If this idea catches on, he believes the long dead Sacrament of Reconciliation could be revived with a Chocolate Penance.
No longer will catholic priests insist on their parishioners saying 50 Hail Marys and whipping themselves with their rosary beads. Soon they may be hearing: "For your Penance, my son, you must eat the arms and legs of a Chocolate Jesus!"
