Pakistan, India Break Relations Over 'Kashmir'
(NEW DELHI) India today formally broke diplomatic relations with Pakistan over the ever-festering "Kashmir issue".
Read full storyDisney Shut Down
New York, NY--Wall Street opened up with a compelling shocker today as the Dow Jones was missing <DIS>. After a busy scuffle to locate the company, it turns out that Eisner has closed up shop.
Read full storyMcSushi
New York City, U.S.A. - MacDonald's Corporation announced today to Wall Street analysts a joint venture with the International Rice Genome Sequencing Project (IRGSP) of Beijing, China. The venture is expected to produce revolutionary rice products f...
Read full storyWorld Flower Market in Crisis!
Unconfirmed sources report that demand for flowers to be showered on American troops in Iraq is straining the world flower market. The problem began just as the war in Iraq was starting. Apparently Iraqi citizens groups placed orders for hundreds of...
Read full storyGoogle files for IPO
Mountain View, CA - Google, the leader in Internet searches, has filed for IPO, to be traded on the NYSE under the ticket symbol GOO.
Read full storyCongressmen To Start Investment Company!
Unconfirmed Sources report members of congress to start investment company. A recent study points out congressmen gain an average return on their invests seven times greater than those of the average investor. The new venture is to be called "Be...
Read full storyProduct recall announcement.
General motors today released a Recall on all vehicles made in the USA as a fault has been found in the engine management chipset.
Read full storySecret Documents Prove Bush Administration Wanted High Unemployment!
Unconfirmed Sources report documents prove Bush wanted high unemployment. Secret files detail an amazingly successful plan called "Staying Home for America to keep Us Safe From Godless Heathens Forever!" Under the plan Bush and his economic...
Read full storyBudweiser Spins Off a New Gay Themed Beer
As of next Wednesday, gay men will have a new beer to call their own. St. Louis, MO based Anheuser-Busch, the maker of Budweiser, has announced plans to open a spin off bottler complete with its own brands, the first of which will be the gay-themed...
Read full storyPhone Sex Operators Protest as Jobs are Outsourced to India
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - Phone sex operators for 1-800-GIRLY conducted a "sit in" protest today at the head office on their employer Dialaporn.com...
Read full storyUnited Airlines Criticized for Marketing Practices.
United Airlines have been criticized today for their recent "Visit Grandkids for $150 or less" telephone marketing campaign.
Read full storyYou Can't Make This Shit Up
NEW YORK - In yet another example of "You Can't Make This Shit Up" from the Big Apple, two gay lovers took off most of their clothes, climbed up a tree in New York's Central Park and spent four hours engaging in sex acts and yelling abuse at pol...
Read full storyMan Kills, Cooks Drinking Buddy
MEXICO CITY - A Mexican cook killed his drinking buddy, cut up his body and boiled him in herbs, according to police who suspect he may have been turning him into tamales.
Read full story15 Year-Old French Girl Gets Book Published: Writers Commit Mass Suicide
New York -- Flavia Bujor, a 15 year old girl from Paris, France became a published author this past week, sparking a wave of mass-suicides among writers across the globe.
Read full storySlovenia Tackles Nazi Rise With Flag Change, Joins EU
Frustrated by foreign politicians confusing it with fellow central European state Slovakia for its similar-sounding name and similar-looking flag, Slovenia is considering changing its flag.
Read full storyOxford Students Asked Not to Throw Pig Shit On People
OXFORD, England (AP) -- Spring in Oxford means the sound of disgusting things being thrown at people. Every summer, students at the famed seat of higher learning throw eggs, flour, and pig shit at each other in a celebration of academic accomplishme...
Read full storyCyprus 'No' To Re-Partition: India, Cuba Praise Cypriot Heroism
Greek Cypriots defied international pressure on Saturday, overwhelmingly voting "No" to a US backed UN plan to legitimise 30 years of partition on the Mediterranean island just before Cyprus joins the European Union.
Read full storyA "True Environmentalist" Just Appointed by George W.
Tom Timber, formerly of Logging Is U$ Corp., was recently appointed by G.W. to serve as the Administration's new "Environmental Savior of Trees," - kicking off George's re-election run for the Presidency in 2004. At the press con...
Read full storySiege of Onion Compound Enters 74th day!
Unconfirmed sources report that the government forces surrounding the Onion compound are near the breaking point. Round the clock bombing and continued raids against the fortified compound have yielded nothing except more dead and more recriminations...
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