Pakistan, India Break Relations Over 'Kashmir'

Funny story written by ZiaUl-Hack

Sunday, 25 April 2004

(NEW DELHI) India today formally broke diplomatic relations with Pakistan over the ever-festering "Kashmir issue".

Indian PM Atal Bihari Vajpayee accused Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf of having "the musical discernment of a donkey", and of "vastly overstating the merits" of several cuts on the Led Zeppelin 'Physical Graffiti' album, 'Kashmir' prominent among them.

"How Musharraf can like that silly, dirge-like, droning song is beyond me," Vajpayee said. "The lyrics are a nothing but a mish-mash of quasi-mystical mumbo-jumbo, and the entire venture is utterly devoid of anything approaching a pleasing melody."

"This Wagnerian, bombastic single is overwhelmingly martial in tone, and as such I am hardly surprised that such a scurrilous, despotic knave as Musharraf would like it."

Reached in Islamabad, Pakistani President Musharraf characterized Vajpayee as "a silly Hindutva-obsessed art-rocker who threatens world peace while he sits around listening to old Emerson, Lake and Palmer albums and waiting for Supertramp to make a comeback."

Musharraf said that Vajpayee "pretends to be a Brahmin but has musical tastes that would be beneath the lowliest dalit."

"If that ridiculous Vajpayee cannot understand the sublimity and genius of Page and Plant, perhaps he should not be at the head of the world's largest quote-unquote democracy," Musharraf said. "How 1.1 billion Indians can let themselves be governed by a man who prides himself on his collection of "Yes" albums is simply beyond me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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