Written by Linguini

Sunday, 25 April 2004

image for A "True Environmentalist" Just Appointed by George W.
"Thank$ for your $upport!"

Tom Timber, formerly of Logging Is U$ Corp., was recently appointed by G.W. to serve as the Administration's new "Environmental Savior of Trees," - kicking off George's re-election run for the Presidency in 2004. At the press conference, G.W. introduced Tom "as one mean sonofabitch who truly loves our forests and who understands how to use them 'to create jobs in America!'" "Not like False Environmentalists," said George, but "like True Environmentalists! Don't you voters love this guy?!?"
When asked what a "True Environmentalist" is, Tom replied, "Well, that's someone who really appreciates trees for what you can build with 'em, you know, - redwood decks, fake trees, billiard tables, shovel handles, or just clear cut 'em into firewood, - those sorts of **useful** things. That's what being an environ ... uh, a viron. . . , I mean a bee keeper . . is all about. The more trees we can cut down, the more jobs we'll create for Americans in this election year!"
Most of the listeners just walked away scratching their heads wondering, "How much money did Tom's now former firm, Logging is U$, contribute to George's campaign?" (For that would be the only ***logical*** explanation for Tom's appointment as a new policy maker for Bush in Washington.)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: George W. Bush




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