WASHINGTON, D.C. – Donald Trump’s first of two daughters recently talked with The Right Coast Revue regarding her childhood. She told Asburn Wasabi that, unlike most 12-year-old girls who had a Barbie Doll, Ivanka said that she had 34 Barbie Dolls, i...
Washington, D.C. – Donald Trump has informed Ipso Facto Illustrated Magazine that he has signed an agreement to purchase 13 McDonald’s Restaurants. The president stated that he already owns 270,301 shares in the hamburger chain. “Look, it is no s...
President Trump will still be in office when freshman representative Ocasio-Cortez is set to retire. Nearly half a century of President Trump? How is this possible? President Trump has a knack of playing poker with others who are playing go fish.
President Trump recently spoke to supporters at a Wisconsin rally. In the wake of recent hate crimes, many wondered if Trump would address the topic of 'hate crime', and he did. Here is the opening portion of his speech: "Friends, we are facing gr...
Before heading back down to Mar-a-Lago, also known as the Southern White House, President Donald Trump announced that he would being suing himself for a “huge sum of money, as much money as I have.” While standing on the East Lawn before departing...
Mar-A-Lago, FL Eric Trump has let it slip that the Trump family will star in their own reality show. It's planned to start as soon as Trump is removed from office. Most of the family believes that it won't be that long and are preparing. Some of t...
Trump Tower, NY Trump's daughter, Ivanka, who recently shuttered her clothing line because she was "too busy" (all the stores stopped selling it), announced that she will start the Ivanka Trump Designer Cage Co. "We just thought it was an idea who...
BILLINGSGATE POST: The Wall Street Journal reported today that Trump would not answer questions pertaining to a North Korean trademark awarded for the exclusive franchise rights to the new dog burger franchise named "McMuttleys." After taking co...
The E! Network, who brought the world the Kardashians, have just announced that they have inked a deal with Donald Trump's daughter Tiffany. She will host a talk show format. Tiffany was asked to comment and she said, "I hope to have others from...
Pyongyang by way of Trump Tower. It may be just a matter of time. So far, however, stranger things have yet to happen in 2018. It could also be the most intriguing yet stillborn Romeo and Juliet relationship of the Twenty-first Century. Muelle...
Ivanka, it's Jared. We need to talk. It's about your dad and this whole Russia thing. I can't do what you're expecting me to do. Flynn just turned himself in, and you know, I'm the one who told Flynn to cut the deal on the sanctions. Your dad made me. But now your dad says he can't recall that, and he's going to throw me under the bus. He promises a pardon, and says I will never go to j...
Washington, DC The Trump Family held a press conference today that they only told Fox News about. Nevertheless, details of the family's press conference hit conventional media. Jarrad Kushner started out by saying that when they were contacted by...
President Trump called the International Space Station today to congratulate Commander Peggy Whitson for spending a record-breaking 534 days in orbit over her entire career as as astronaut, and the astronaut became dumbfounded when Mr. Trump asked he...
First Ivanka Trump's fashion company was sued for copying a chastity shoe (left foot only) made by FashionIkon in Transylvania. Now Ivanka Trump Collections™ is in hot water with the Vatican and true believers in the miracle of the shroud of Tu...
As she bit the head off of a chinchilla and drank its blood, Ivanka Trump called out the media for what she sees as harsh treatment of her father. "Some of the stories about my family I won't even dignify with a comment--I just can't believe the v...
Geneva, Switzerland President Donald Trump of the United States attended a NATO Conference and, in his daughter Ivanka's opinion, looked very presidential. Trump was criticized for pushing fellow attendees out of the way to be in front, but Ivan...
After almost every other staff member of President Trump's (brief pause to vomit) administration has either royally screwed up or committed outright treason, The Donald's son-in-law has been announced as "Secretary of Everything". "We trust Jare...
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