Buckingham Palace has published the menu for the royal Christmas luncheon at Balmoral in an effort to show empathy with people struggling to make ends meet during the credit crisis. In a statement from the palace the queen's spokesman Sir Horace...
ITV last night stole a march on their rivals by showing the Queen's Christmas speech early. The speech, which was recorded in a tent in Hyde Park to save on Royal fuel bills, is thought to have attracted at least four extra viewers, but will be r...
In a late parliament session last night, new rules were laid down for the monarch of the UK. It was decided that she should wear her ceremonial robes all the time. "We have decided that as the head of state," said Jacqui Smith, Home Secretary, "wh...
London - (Sickening Ass Mess): Zimbabwe's fetid cholera outbreak has been traced to a dodgy composting toilet in Buckingham Palace's notorious 'H' Block. The organic throne room is used by senior members of the Puppet Monarchy four times a year as...
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): MoD disinformation campaign top brass chuckled today at reports they are running a high profile spoiler story about the mothballing of two new proposed Royal Navy aircraft carriers, The Queen Elizabeth and The Pri...
London - (Royal Ass Mess): Toxic behavior by the lard-arsed Duchess of Pork's Provisional IRA pals may be behind the Queen sickening according to Palace medical sources. HM the Puppet Monarch was quarantined on Saturday night after a rasher (sic)...
London - (Sordid Ass Mess): The tribute artiste known as Helen Lowenstein who took on the ID and persona of fourteen year old Princess Elizabeth after the 1940 London Luftwaffe bombing raid tragic deaths of King George VI, his wife and elder daughter...
US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice today showed her black musical roots, as she played wild rock'n'roll music on the piano at Buckingham Palace. She met the Queen in the early afternoon, and was being shown round the Palace when she suddenly ca...
US Secretary of State for only days now had always dreamt of playing the Palace. A brilliant pianist Secretary Rice got her wish when she played for the Prince and the Queen in Buckingham Palace. The aging Royal couple were exceedingly charmed by Ms...
During the early hours of this morning. MR Tap, a local postman for the area witnessed Her Majesty performing what can only be described as a 'Bizarre and vicious rehearsal' for her new angle on the annual gibberish spouted during Christmas lunch.
Buckingham Palace have issued a statement today detailing the Queen's financial loss since the beginning of the credit crunch almost 18 months ago. Her majesty is proclaimed to be a 'passionate player in the global stock market' is often seen emailin...
Shadow PM David Cameron was furious when his shady home minister Damian Green was arrested for a leaky blather. The Tory torrent of government documents meant to embarrass Labor only got the Loyalists in loyal trouble. High Judge Realey Likesbo...
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): The Puppet Monarch had a major psychotic episode again today, ranting to her official Queen's Busy Body of the Ye Omen of the Guard about 'a vile UFO' that was 'sending her telepathetic (sic) death threats' through...
The undefeated world champion light-heavyweight boxer Joe Calzaghe has been arrested by Palace guards, after a ceremony in which he was to receive his CBE from the Queen went dreadfully awry. Calzaghe from Newbridge, South Wales, was to be recogni...
Balimmoral, Scotland - "At any rate I'll never go there again!" said Alice as she picked her way through the wood after attending the Mad Hatter's Tea Party. "It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life!" Little did Alice know that the...
London - (Sieg Heil! Mess): They're stoking the furnaces at Windsor Crem this week ahead of Hellfire Club predictions that Old Fatty Mountbatten won't be able to take Alistair Darling's latest credit crunch shocker. Last week it was revealed the...
Queen Elizabeth has stunned the world by giving birth to a healthy baby boy. Buckingham Palace made the shock announcement in front of an excited media contingent earlier this morning. The 82 year old monarch is said to be 'Enormously proud' of...
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