London - (Sieg Heil! Mess): They're stoking the furnaces at Windsor Crem this week ahead of Hellfire Club predictions that Old Fatty Mountbatten won't be able to take Alistair Darling's latest credit crunch shocker.
Last week it was revealed the ghost of Princess Diana had appeared to London College of Psychic Studies CEO Sir Thomas Ectoplasm, and warned the Puppet Monarch would croak 'sometime around her 61st wedding annniversary.'
A Chinese wall of money was then reported by online betting site Aintgottaprayer.con for 25th November as the favoured date (5/4), followed closely by Thanksgiving Day, 27 November (7/4).
Buckinghan Palace's Lord Chancellor Lord Luce-Cannon immediately ordered footmen to make arrangements for couriers to stand by for a special delivery of HM's ashes back to her only legally wedded spouse, octogenarian GOP asshole George Herbert Bush.
Prince Philip is a lifelong honorary KGB/Mossad colonel.
