During the early hours of this morning. MR Tap, a local postman for the area witnessed Her Majesty performing what can only be described as a 'Bizarre and vicious rehearsal' for her new angle on the annual gibberish spouted during Christmas lunch.
Reports are hazy but what's clear is HRH was clearly seen beating a Gordon Brown shaped pinata hung from a noose from her favourite money tree.
Before being violently escorted from the property boundary by a number of Foot Guards Mr Tap also glimpsed Prince Phillip dressed in nothing but war paint spurring the obsessed mature Royal into a frenzy of killer blows to the spine of the makeshift MP before she stubbed out her B&H on the dummy's eye.
A spokesman for 'Liz Mountbatten' denies the claims but explains she is 'in bed suffering from exhaustion following a heavy night on K'
Further updates will follow when Mr Tap comes out of his coma.
