London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): The Puppet Monarch had a major psychotic episode again today, ranting to her official Queen's Busy Body of the Ye Omen of the Guard about 'a vile UFO' that was 'sending her telepathetic (sic) death threats' through an aperture in the Buckingham Palace tin foil protective sheath.
Old Fatty Mountbatten summoned Lord Davies of Oldham, her Captain of the Ye Omen of the Guard, and said an extraterrestrial intelligence was planning to give her a Thanksgiving Day coronary.
Davies of Oldham chortled with laughter and quipped that 'that's no way to talk about Gorgon Brown's VAT bombshell', widely expected to hit Puppet Monarchy finances along with the 45% income tax hike.
Nevertheless the ageing octogenarian Hitler's daughter is now arming herself with a Met-issue Taser stun gun under her pillow every night.
Sick.
