In a frank and honest interview, Eddie Smith, famed Ricky Hatton celebrity lookalike, described the emotional turmoil he finds himself in as rumours of Hatton's likely retirement circulate in the media. "No-one realises how hard this job is" Smith...
Bitter Newcastle FC rivals Sunderland FC are intending to sign Joey Barton in the summer, a club insider has revealed. The troublesome midfielder who has alienated and offended every single person he has had any dealing with, recently received a l...
"Desperate times call for desperate measures", was the theme from a Downing Street press conference, as the Government announced a "high risk strategy" in order to address the British debt levels. In 2 weeks time, the Prime Minister and a number o...
Arsenal FC crashed out of the Champion's league last night in a sporting performance that rivalled that of battered fighter Ricky Hatton. In a 2 round knockout, Manchester United beat Arsenal to proceed through to the final of the Champion's Leagu...
Dr Philip Nitschke, nicknamed Doctor Death by the media, delivered his lecture today on the best ways to commit suicide. The aim of the lecture is to assist those with a serious illness, find a way to limit their own suffering. Unfortunately f...
Recently beaten boxer Ricky Hatton has announced that he will be joining Manchester super group Oasis from June as their drummer, in time for a string of summer concerts. The boxer who has spent a great deal of time learning how to drum over the l...
Arsenal manager has made a shocking announcement today, during what had been expected to be a routine press conference. On entering the room, Wenger announced that he would not be taking questions and had a prepared statement which he intended to...
In seemingly an effort to out-do Prime Minister Gordon Brown with YouTube based disasters, David Cameron has found himself making an appearance on an internet porn site. Cameron's brief video message was recorded last week in response to the disas...
Everton FC has been placed in a dramatically dire situation following further injuries to their senior team. With the latest series of injuries impacting the squad following last weekend's league fixtures, the Everton manager David Moyes has had t...
Tony Blair is planning to make a suprise, yet glorious, return to the UK Labour Party. A close friend of the former Prime Minister described how "Tony is livid with the state of both the party and the country overall. When he left everything was...
In what was expected to be 2 routine paper exercises, Madonna had intended to finalise her divorce from Guy Ritchie, and to complete the adoption of Chifundo "Mercy" James. However, in what is being described by her spokesman as an "embarrassing a...
Jack Straw, the current Minister for Justice in the UK, has confirmed that Guernsey is to be converted to a Prison Island. In a project being jointly run between the UK and French Governments, the island will commence its new life from January 1st...
Desperate actor Steve Guttenberg, 50 and depressed, has been fired from his latest role, in a film where he was playing himself. It is a terrible blow to the actor who had been hoping that his performance in "The Steve Guttenberg Story", would see...
Ofcom are dealing with a record number of complaints today following a recipe, that was read out on a top cooking show, caused shock and confusion. For some unknown reason, the TV chef went through a full demonstration of a meal, referring to the...
A spokesman for Manchester United has confirmed that the entire squad have been struck down, all contracting Swine Flu. It appears that Gary Neville, who recently visited Mexico, is the individual who carried the virus to a United training session...
Recent efforts to rebuild the reputation of the United States abroad took a significant step backwards today, as Hilary Clinton attacked a foreign dignitary. The US Secretary of State gave the Russian ambassador what the media are referring to a...
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is ready to bankrupt himself to prove his certainty of a Gunners victory in the semi final of the Champions League. The Frenchman has cashed in his life insurance, emptied his life savings and mortgaged his house twic...
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