"Unprecedented, astonishing, we have never seen such a huge evolutionary leap in a single generation," Professor Ima Dorc declares. It seems that snowmen have now divided into two species, the cold weather snowmen, who have recently begun...
After decades in politics Newt Gingrich has made the decision to leave Washington D.C. and embark on a new career. "I've had enough politics and scandals, I'm going to became a TV evangelist."...
A spokesman for Lindsay Lohan has announced today that she will begin a new career after leaving rehab. Lindsay entered rehab after an auto accident lead to her arrest.
Red Rocket taxi company has announced plans to replace New York City's "green cabs" with their own Red Rockets. No longer will drivers waste fuel while sitting in traffic and following city streets. Red Rockets will simply fly over th...
Only one day after CBS announced David Letterman, of the Late Show, will be replaced by George W. Bush word comes that Rosie O'Donnell of The View will be replaced with Gracie Rex, a tyrannosaurus. "We really wanted someone with a kinder, g...
Snowmen are evolving into migratory animals, so says Professor Ima Dorc. After decades of studying snowmen Professor Dorc claims they are now on the move. Global warming has been a problem for these cool fellows and many were afraid the species wou...
In a surprise move Late Show host, David Letterman has decided to retire and spend more time with his young son. CBS immediately announced Letterman would be replaced by George W Bush. Many Washington insiders are worried the additional work load w...
"If you put a thousand monkeys in a room with typewriters, they will by chance eventually type the Encyclopedia Britannica," the old saying goes. But leave a thousand monkeys in a room full of computers and you get rocket science.
Details of Iran's diabolical plan to attack the US with missiles full of black cats were released today. President Bush's immediate response was to order a total invasion of Iran. "I'm the decisioner!" proclaimed Bush when Pentagon officials a...
Researchers at Chiley University today released the results of a 5 year study detailing the effects of global warming on snowmen. The outlook for these heart-melting yard creations is glaringly grim.
Doctors were mystified after removing an unknown foreign object from the President's ear. Doctors were puzzled by the unusual object and cannot determine exactly what it is or how it got in Bush's ear. Bush was also clueless and released no...
Heads up, animal lovers, you finally have a presidential candidate you can whole heartedly support. Unfortunately, Trevor the Turtle has entered the 2000 presidential race.
After years of sky-rocketing summer gas prices, consumers have finally had enough. Many are just not going to take it any more, they are refusing to buy any more gas.
Paleontologists in New York have unearthed the fossil remains of a previously unknown hominid. Carbon dating indicates an age of 68 million years; much older than the famous Lucy uncovered in Africa.
"Real beauty is on the inside." Well not any more, now that doctors can see inside the human body it is all too clear that real beauty must lie elsewhere. Researchers at Hardly University have sifted through thousands of MRIs, X-rays and CAT sc...
People are actually dying of boredom while connected to the most massive and comprehensive accumulation of data, communication links and entertainment in the history of the universe. Technology is advancing at a rapid pace and so is the speed of int...
Anonymous sources today warned of Vice-President Dick Cheney's evil plot to rule the world with Cheney clones. These sources claimed Cheney used oil companies' high tech labs and huge profits to create more than 10,000 Cheney clone embryos.
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