Researchers at Chiley University today released the results of a 5 year study detailing the effects of global warming on snowmen. The outlook for these heart-melting yard creations is glaringly grim.
Warmer temperatures mean less snow fall and quicker melting when snow does fall. Less snow on the ground in turns means more sunlight will be absorbed by the earth and ground temperatures will begin to rise. "It's just a massive snowball effect," says Professor Ima Dorc, "This species doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell."
Next winter Professor Dorc will lead a team of researchers in the quest for snowman DNA in hopes of saving the endangered species. Previous attempts at DNA collection failed for lack of an adequate sample preservation technique. "They just kept melting away," cries Dr. Dorc.