Des Moines, Iowa - In response to Hillary Clinton's recent move left on immigration, seen in her promise to take executive action if elected President to grant citizenship to illegals currently in the nation, Jeb Bush yesterday staked out a position...
SECOND CITY -- The Windy City, home to Prezident Obummer and his one-time chief of staff, Mayor-for-Now Rahm Emanuel, is (allegedly) operating a "black site" jail where prisoners are (allegedly) denied their Constitutional rights and are (allegedly)...
ORLANDO'S BLOOM -- For millions of Americans, times are hard, but, apparently, Mickey Mouse could care less. He has ordered Dizney World admission ticket prices to skyrocket to a whopping $1,500--not per family, mind you, but per "guest," inc...
On a crowded airplane flight aboard Alaska Airlines, a female passenger (not Sarah Palin) and a scorpion struggled over a seat, resulting in the scorpion's biting the woman's hand. Flight 567 was approaching the runway when the incident occurred.
(Washington D.C.) Republican lawmakers today passed the first of a series of bills authorizing the use of the Keystone Pipeline as a "humane and cost-effective method for transporting illegal [Mexican] aliens back to their homeland." The legislat...
HURRAY for HOLLYWEIRD!, CA -- Dizney Studios "is proud," Donald Duck quacks, "to introduce our first Latina princess, Elena." According to Duck, the princess' debut will occur in "Sofia The First," an episode of Dizney Jr. Why isn't the episode...
LOS ANGELES, CA - All across the country, exasperated illegal immigrants have decided en masse to self-deport themselves in light of the political burden they realize they have become for both political parties. The movement has no single leader...
Senator Ted Crap (R-TX) this week has called President Obama a "dictator" and GOP House Speaker Boner termed him an "emperor" over his executive order to shield 4 million undocumented immigrants from deportation. Senator Crap said that Obama is "J...
WASHINGTON D.C. -- Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz turned to the ancient words of Og the Cro-Magnon Thursday on the Senate floor to denounce President Obama's planned actions that are expected to grant legal status to millions of illegal immigrants in...
Texas Border President Obama, in a special televised speech carried on the FUSE and HUB networks, explained that since he has less than two years left in his hell-on-earth job, he doesn't care anymore about illegal immigration. He has therefore arran...
Washington, DC-In breaking news it was announced that Obama, in order to shield them from Republican legislators bound and determined to deport them, will allow a multitude of immigrants to have sanctuary in the White House. Obama has had barriers...
A Landmark decision by the European Court that allows European governments to send Illegal Immigrants into Outer Space on the European Space Shuttle has been welcomed by the British and German governments. The ruling concerns a family of twenty seven...
The British government has begun drawing up secret plans to rebuild Hadrian's Wall - the wall built by the Roman's to keep marauding Scot's out of England - to prevent starving undocumented Scottish people from entering England. If Scotland's vote...
ROSE GARDEN, AC/DC -- First Lady Michelle Obummer has yet a new idea to try out on American schoolkids. She has become a strong advocate of farming octopi. "They grows quick," she says, "and they taste good-or so I've heard-I wouldn't eat nothing...
President Barack Obama was rushed to the Walter Reed Army Medical Center with reported shortness of breath and chest pain, after being briefed about the results of a study tracking the progress of the first wave of "DREAMers", or those young people e...
The new Sci-Fi flick 'Dawn Of The Planet Of Illegal Immigrants' is taking the box office by storm! The latest sequel in the series that started with 'Planet Of The Illegal Immigrants' then continued with 'Beyond The Planet Of The Illegal Immigrants',...
AUSTIN, Texas - Gov. Rick Perry believes that unaccompanied children entering the U.S. illegally should be rounded up and forced to work in children's TV programming as offbeat public housing neighbors, custodial help or slick, streetwise hustlers, a...
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