Written by Gee Pee

Monday, 16 February 2015

image for Prezident Obummer calls for investigation of airline fatality
Passengers recount "terror at 12,000 feet"

On a crowded airplane flight aboard Alaska Airlines, a female passenger (not Sarah Palin) and a scorpion struggled over a seat, resulting in the scorpion's biting the woman's hand.

Flight 567 was approaching the runway when the incident occurred.

The woman stomped the scorpion to death.

Upon landing, she was arrested for endangering the passengers and crew and for murder.

The flight originated in Mexico, and, airline officials say, they are surprised that the predatory arthropod was not la cucaracha instead of a scorpion. Cockroaches are as numerous in Mexico, they said, as they are in Washington, D. C.

U. S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is rumored to be investigating the possibility that the scorpion was an illegal alien who had stowed away aboard the airliner in an effort to smuggle itself into the United States and live, like millions of others, on the public dole.

However, Prezident Obummer denies such allegations. "An investigation into the status of immigrants, legal or otherwise, would be racist," he contended.

In fact, he has directed the Department of Justice to ascertain whether hate crime charges should be fired against the alleged murderer, who is white. "I'm sure Attorney General Holder will make the right decision," the prezident predicted.

The flight took off an hour after the fatal altercation.

Some passengers support the woman's contention that she acted in self-defense, saying it was the scorpion who started the fight. "It could have killed her," they said.

The prezident, who said he didn't want to comment on the story since it is a pending court case for which the death penalty might be imposed, called the witnesses' account "a likely story," comparing it to the testimony of disinterested bystanders in the Ferguson, Missouri incident in which a police officer gunned down a black teenager who was doing absolutely nothing wrong other than robbing a store, assaulting the shopkeeper, and attempting to murder the arresting officer.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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