It has been announced quietly by the Home Office that the Police forces in England and Wales will have to reduce their cost by half a Billion Pounds within the next five years. Forces will have to come up with creative cuts in their spendings without...
Burbank, Ca.-Authorities now believe that the suspected shooter in the interactive video game, "Tactical Weapons", who shot a man here, escaped from the game soon afterward and is now on the lam. Police found Amos Walker 's lifeless, bullet ridden...
The Italien police force in Cremona, Italy (logical!) have caused a national disaster, they have crashed their prize possession, a Fiat 600. This particular Fiat was actually a Lamborghini in disguise! They were given the Fiat 600 / Lamborghini...
A Federal Court of Appeals today set a stunning new precedent with their decision in the case of Mego-Mart, et al v. Doe. According to the unanimous ruling, official law enforcement powers, and, specifically, police arresting authority, are transfer...
A Millwall football fan has been vicously attacked outside a pub by his own fellow supporters. Dickie Slit, 38, was set upon by the thirty strong crowd when he was spotted skipping like a girl. DCI Conrad Pheebs, 48, said "Mr. Slit was making h...
Internal Investigators from London's Met Police are in uproar today after claims surfaced in the press that a firearms officer from the force's elite CO19 team had been sending saucy texts of his weapon to young ladies he met on the internet. The...
A Metropolitan Police officer from the 'crack' shooting squad C019 has been literally caught with his pants down! Pictures released to the News of the World show the tattooed ass (tramp stamp) exposing himself to the world, whilst explaining he is...
No, from today onwards and forever more, the Met have confirmed they are happy to go with the simple term 'racist', to more accurately reflect the organisations character. A official statement from the Metropolitan Black Police association has con...
The good ol London Public have been declared to be 'lying bastards' by the Metropolitan Police Directorate of Professional Standards. Of 5241 complaints against London's darlings the Metropolitan Police Territorial support Group, only 9 people wer...
It has been announced that protestors are not the only thing the Metropolitan Police are seeking to destroy. Today the UK Metropolitan Police have admitted running the most environmentally unfriendly fleet of vehicles on the planet. With governmen...
In a stinging U turn, Metropolitan Police officials have confirmed the issue of 'Ball Bearing' sidearms to be issued to all London Cops. This controversial weapon deployment is in quick succession to this weeks U turn on the routine arming of the...
DENVER, CO - Holloweeny dunked drivers who imbibe in too many donuts that impair cops quest for donuts need to beware the police. The Colorado Department of Transportation said state police and local law enforcement will be out in farce Saturday l...
DENVER, COLO - My source, Captain Doolittle of the DPD indicated that S.W.A.T was called yesterday to the scene of a woman who had locked herself in the bathroom after drinking aspartame laced beverages, where she had allegedly removed all of her clo...
Public opinion was unanimous in its condemnation today, as it was revealed by the press that one of Britain's most hated men, and many of his closest cohorts are being given round the clock police protection rumoured to be costing the British taxpaye...
Government plans to streamline the police/terrorist/catchum/beatum interface were last night called into question when it was revealed that 'plastic policemen' better known to a few governmental quangos, and no bugger else, as "Police Community Suppo...
Washington, DC - Retired Police Chief Henry Himmler, recently appointed spokesman for the North American Main Bureau of Law Agencies (NAMBLA), held a press conference this morning where he expressed concern about the upswing in "attitude" amongst the...
The policeman dubbed Supercop due to the number of arrests he makes has explained the nature of his success. It's all down to good old fashioned community police work. Sargeant Peter Pinto said "Getting to know your criminals is a big help."...
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