Police out in farce on Holloweeny

Funny story written by Aspartame Boy

Saturday, 31 October 2009

image for Police out in farce on Holloweeny
I caught this guy carrying 3 dozen, open in his car! He was driving with one hand, dunking with the other.

DENVER, CO - Holloweeny dunked drivers who imbibe in too many donuts that impair cops quest for donuts need to beware the police.

The Colorado Department of Transportation said state police and local law enforcement will be out in farce Saturday looking for dunked drivers.

Dunked drivers who purchase more than a dozen donuts for Holloweeny will be cited for 'dunked driving', according to the Captain of the Denver police unit near Cherry Creek High School.

Their message is simple: Leave the donuts to the professionals or take public transportation.

The state cited National Highway Traffic Safety Administration data that showed 58 percent of all holloweeny fatalities last Holloweeny involved a dunked driver.

Patrolmen Mack 'donut hole' Strumpet shown in the photo, busted 39 dunked drivers last night near what used to be an old spudnut shop, converted over to hardcore donuts made with high fructose corn syrup, white bleached flower, Olestra, and aspartame by homeless people.

According to Strumpet, drivers who drive dunked will get bunked in tent city, Arizona, due to overcrowding in Cannon City where the cells are full of people who came out to listen to John Denver, and then got hooked on drugs, seeking the "Rocky Mountain High."

"Once that aspartame hits that hot coffee, you might as well be drinking pure booze.", continued Strumpet.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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