Man In Hospital After Skipping Like A Girl

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Saturday, 21 November 2009

image for Man In Hospital After Skipping Like A Girl
A fight. Many years ago. Nothing at all to do with this story. Now read it and stop looking at the pictures.........go on!!

A Millwall football fan has been vicously attacked outside a pub by his own fellow supporters.

Dickie Slit, 38, was set upon by the thirty strong crowd when he was spotted skipping like a girl.

DCI Conrad Pheebs, 48, said "Mr. Slit was making his way to the Dog and Bone public house last tuesday when, as he stepped up the curb from crossing the road, he adopted a kind of skipping motion to his walk, possibly to aid his balance."

"We are aware that several of his friends were outside the public house smoking, and it is believed they witnessed this momentary skipping action and decided to 'sort him out'" Pheebs continued.

As the fight ensued, several more patrons from inside the pub came out and joined in.

Angela Biggleswade, 26, witnessed the attack. "They were shouting nancy-boy, Skippy Longstocking, girly bastard, things like that. And just beating him to a pulp with lawn chairs and pool cues. It was ace."

DCI Pheebs said "It is wrong that a man can not skip on the open streets if he so desires, without fear of being attacked. I myself enjoy a good skip now and then. It's what makes this country great."

Police are hunting for the attackers. Anyone with any information please skip along to your local police station and give them the lowdown.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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