London, England George W. Bush, disgraced former President of the United States, called the Queen to see if he and his wife Laura could get some free rooms in one of the Queen's castles. Prince Philip answered and set the phone down to get the Queen.
In an annual poll taken by Jerk Magazine, the dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong-Un, has beaten out three-time winner Vladimir Putin as the leader who was the biggest asshole in 2015. "Although there were many contenders as usual, Kim Jong-Un was the hands-down winner this year, what with his nuclear threats and missile tests and labor camps and Putin actually doing something people like this y...
With the US race for the White House hotting up, Jaggedone, decided to send his infamous CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star reporter, Scumbag Sixlegged-Witherspoon-Jones, to one of Trump's most loyal sources of support, the local Loony Bin in downtown Boston, USA not England. Here his amazing, exclusive article after interviewing a group of inmates and dedicated followers: Question:Ladie...
HEADLINES KIM KARDASHIAN ROCKED UP TO RIHANNA'S FIRST DIAMOND BALL BENEFIT IN A PLUNGING LEOTARD WITH MESH NETTING. Friends say this is a radical departure for her. Kim has also been made an offer by Air Canada to model her bum for new hot air balloon. MOTHER OF NINETEEN CHILDREN VOWS "NEVER TO GET PREGNANT AGAIN". FRANK BRUNO GIVEN ALL CLEAR BY DOCTORS TO RESUME BOXING... BUT MAY HAVE T...
CBS: NEWS ANNOUNCER. And it sure does look like the New World Order boys are determined to make a backyard religious skirmish between oppressed Iraqis and Jews into a global conflict between East and West, Muslims Versus Christians. How 'bout that...
Houston, Texas -- When you think something, say something, my fellow Americans. I'm thinking that the Federal Government should be handing out Homeland Security Blankets to every man, woman and child in America. And I'm not afraid to say it. Here's why: The nation is starting to panic. We recently lost our "home of the brave" status to Lithuania. Wait, it gets worse. There were 5,672 "lone...
The Supreme Court ruled in the case of Gore vs. Bush that climate change, specifically CO2 emissions, falls under the definition of terrorism. The ruling has caused many republicans and democrats to change their opinion about the issue. John McCain w...
"Tony old bean, I want to blow that bastard, Hussein's head off, are you with me, and we need that damn oil, bloody Texans are drying up?" "Of course Georgie Porgie, we Brits have been licking US butts ever since you saved us from old Adolf and we don't intend to stop now!" "Tony old boy, we need to convince those useless twats over at the UN that it's necessary to remove this evil buggar, s...
After exhaustive research I have discovered that many prominent American politicians, leaders, and officials belong to a secret society called "Keres." In ancient Greece, violent death was the domain of Thanatos (god of death) and the blood-craving s...
On this day, I was assigned the job of fact checking the speech announcing the presidency of Donald Trump (aka The Donald, Donald the Duck, The Mouth.) I went to my desk, as I have one, and began downloading his speech so I could fact check it. As...
MIAMI, FL-John Ellis "Jeb" _______, brother of George W. ______, son of George H. W. ______, and the grandson of Senator Prescott S. ________, today announced that he would run for president of the United States because, he boomed, "I'm running becau...
A new firm owned by father and son George H. Bush and George W. Bush and called the "Skull & Bones Inc". has been floated on New York's Stock Exchange. Shares opened at $66.60. The firm will be devoted to mass marketing and merchandising the...
Republican politicians claim Hillary Clinton had a love connection with Osama Bin Laden and define her as a serial traitor. High five! They insist this information can be verified in the 31,000 emails exchanged while she was Secretary of State and why she is holding fast to that server. Reliable sources revealed Hillary was in the process of divorcing Bill to marry Osama Bin Laden, (or...
With Hillary Clinton looking more likely to run for President in 2016 many are celebrating that at last a real "Bush" will be in the White House. One man said "After two Bush's it is great to finally have a real Bush walking the corridors of the W...
The past week has shown several internet and hacking experts clear North Korea as responsible for the hacking attack on Sony. That is, North Korea was not responsible for the hacking. Former Sony employees (and possibly the CIA) are suspected a...
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. - Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush on Tuesday took his most definitive step yet toward a bid for the White House, announcing "I hope to become the second dumbest president in the history of our great nation." Bush said he plans t...
To Jeb Bush, brother of George. W. Bush on his announcement to stand for the presidency of the U.S., numerous greetings and best wishes have been flooding in. Well-wishers include Halliburton, Citibank, Chase Bank, World Bank, Barclay's Bank, the...
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