Trump's speech fact checked

Funny story written by Martin Jaeger

Thursday, 18 June 2015

On this day, I was assigned the job of fact checking the speech announcing the presidency of Donald Trump (aka The Donald, Donald the Duck, The Mouth.)

I went to my desk, as I have one, and began downloading his speech so I could fact check it. As I hit the enter key, smoke started coming from the monitor, spreading to the key-board, then to the Dell Inspiron main unit.

It wrecked a CD inside. I had been listening to Lester Clangborne, playing the uke.

I had to go downstairs to where the circuit breakers are and hit the kill switch. The lights went out, but at least, I saved the mainframe, and half-a-dozen servers, and dozens of computers.

When I came back, I decided to go over to Bob Ringwall's desk and use his computer. He was out fact checking the Bill of Rights.
He has an Apple Series 98*W56, with Fourple processor, that I was sure could handle the Donald's speech.

I began to download the speech, this time leaving out the picture of Trump. For a while this worked, but then the unit frooze.

I could see the hand writing on the wall. This wasn't the first time that there were so many mistakes in one of his speeches that the computer quit for one reason or nothing. I couldn't justify blowing up another computer, so I said Sayonara, and went on to my next assignment, fact checking a speech by Jeb Bush.

We run through a hell of a lot of computers.

I should buy stock in Apple, now that it's presidential election time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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