Written by Auntie Matter

Tuesday, 19 January 2016

image for CBS - The Weather Forecast
Typhoon Maggie Thatcher

CBS: NEWS ANNOUNCER.

And it sure does look like the New World Order boys are determined to make a backyard religious skirmish between oppressed Iraqis and Jews into a global conflict between East and West, Muslims Versus Christians. How 'bout that? What else can they do... dem banker folks... now that they no longer have the Cold War working in their favour, you may well ask? Who ever made a dime out of peace or a dime outta good health? Did you know that over 100 thousands Christians are killed each year for their faith? No kiddin'! Not a word about it neither. That's a big number. Just thought I'd throw that in there for the viewers. This latest bombing in Osaka, Japan must surely help their cause. How many killed Palmela? Fifty...sixty?

Palmela: Latest reports Spiro say over a thousand.

Spiro: Shocking Palmela. That's a lot. And just before breakfast too! Gee... have these people no consideration for anyone? Think I'll pass on the waffles this morning. And now over to Saul for the weather forecast.

Saul: Thank you for that Spiro and may I say thank God, wherever he may be, that we have succeeded in so confusing the sheeple that it can be said they do not believe a single word you have just said even though it is pure fact? God bless America! (laughing)

Spiro: You betcha!(laughing). Long live freedom of speech, eh Saul?

Saul: Can't afford that luxury these days Spiro. Seriously, you may laugh, but my mortgage is due Monday. See no evil hear no evil is my motto. Anyway viewers, all joking aside, here is today's weather... and I am speaking as freely as I am allowed, just like Spiro (laughing):

Spiro: (laughing): Yea, well I have a mortgage too! Oh get on with it!

Saul: "Typhoon Maggie Thatcher has cleared the azores. Death toll yet to be counted. Hurricane Fuhrer meanwhile has petered out. Thousands of Finlanders have had to evacuate their homes due to flooding. The good news is that the cost of imported lumber has declined. Newspapers are jubilant even the left wing ones. More of that later. Meanwhile, Tsunami Kissinger that has caused thousands of lives in Sri Lanka has petered out by all accounts. Tsunami Kissinger it is said was not so severe as its predecessor Tsunami Reagan which many thought was but a large tidal wave at the time but took over a million lives across the South Pacific. Aid is being flown in from Ireland as we speak. Monsoon J.K Rowling that has laid waste to much of Northern India seems also to have abated. Many thousands dead there too Palmela. Might have to forego the pancakes as well (laughing). Where is Harry Potter when you need him?

Palmela: Saul, you love your pancakes! Don't be such a weeny!

Saul: I know Palm... just being silly. Anyway, let's get on with this. The raging fire surrounding Sydney, Australia may engulf the entire city. Relief helicopters hired from America are on their way... but it may be too late. Reasons as to why Australia does not have its own relief copters may be hotly debated in Canberra in the coming weeks, to no effect of course as the Ozzie government is Brit controlled and totally corrupt. Ozzies have been conditioned to love dishonest politicians the way the French and Italians love promiscuous politicians. How good is that Palmela? We can learn something from Australians. Meanwhile, the George Bush bush fire may take thousands of lives. Britain who claims ownership of Australia refuses to comment. Prince Andrew and Prince Harry who have been stationed in Canberra to help strengthen British hegemony over the Australian continent, have been airlifted out. Reports say none of them have been hurt, thank God. Prince Harry has recently dyed his hair black in a bid to win the affection of the Aboriginal population on behalf of Her Majesty's government. The Bush bush fire may be out of control, but what else is new? Anyway that's all for now folks, have a nice day... and don't listen to a damn word we say (laughing). And now over to Palmela for the latest Stock Market prices.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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