Stockholm, Friday. Sven Ericsonn, a multi-sport talented individual, has set a Guineas Book of Record mark for jumping from a open top bus to a Volvo convertible sportscar. Both vehicles were stationery at the time and were only half a metre apar...
The 'Obama Way' think tank has conned up an idea for beating Al Gore over the head by coupling Obama's remarkable halo to the nation's electricity grid. "This way," commented Obama Way's spokesperson, "We can give the world something to talk abo...
The England World Cup qualifier will be shown exclusively on internet fridges. These devices are absolute rubbish and were designed to tell skinny arsed WAGs when they were out of Chablis or coke. A spokesman for the I*nterFridge told us that only...
Obsessive/Compulsive disorder sufferer David Beckham has said in the strongest possible terms that he wants to be a part of England's World Cup plans - the 2050 World Cup, in fact, and beyond! "I just love playing for England," said 'Goldendrawls'...
England have booked themselves a place in the World Cup finals in South Africa next summer, but it looks like one star will be left behind. David Beckham has shot himself in his Adidas Predators for the last time in his international career. The...
Is he or is he not? This question may be answered when ex-boy band member, Robbie "Rear sex with a bottle" Williams releases his latest single! The world's pop press and Robbies trillions of very deaf fans can't wait to see if Robbie is going to d...
"How," world leaders are asking, "Could the Afghan elections be rigged? We never saw this one coming." In a country with the fine tradition expressed by its national motto "Democracy through transparent government" the surprise and shock is all...
After the pre-season fixtures and the training sessions, Cristiano Ronaldo proved that he was no more than a perfect substitute. So Real Madrid's chairman Florentino Perez and new manager Manuel Pelligrini had to find the perfect player to fill th...
Washington's Columbian District an der Ostküste der USA - Anticipating Swiss poverty if Switzerland's major banks fail, The World Bank has announced that it will extend a helping hand to the landlocked country in the form of a one-billion-dollar (U.S...
Gary McKinnon is to be extradited to the US and the World has decided that it is not going to put up with this nonsense. "Basically" said a spokesperson for the whole wide world "This is utterly ridiculous. Gary McKinnon may have successfully hacked...
In mind blowingly staggering news, World War II has been exposed as a cinematic fake recreated on several Hollywood sound stages by directors including John Ford, Cecil B DeMille, Howard Hawks and even Charlie Chaplin. All the momentous events fr...
Pernambuco, Brazil - Arturo "Thunder" Gatti has been found dead on his honeymoon no less. Mr. Gatti was renting a beach side unit at Hotel Dorisol of Porto de Galinhas. The Dorisol Porta De Galinhas Resort boasts a convenient location with modern...
London - (Rotten Ass Mess): The News of the Screws buggered over three thousand people according to a High Court judgement delivered today. But the phone buggery case cost parent company News International one million pounds after the judge said s...
Mark Sanford inveterate hiker and philanderer and governor of South Carolina broke a world straying record by disappearing on the Appalachian trail and reappearing in Argentina. Sanford told the Pampas Periodical that he had no idea how he ended up o...
In a change to his normal recent behaviour, outspoken former Chat show host Michael 'Parky' Parkinson has remained silent. Following recent out-bursts about things that should not concern him, the friend of Sting, Katie Melua, Miss Piggy, and Bill...
Somali student, Abu Abdab, has won the 2009 World Waterboarding Championships in the face of tough opposition from around the world. Abu, who is better known for performing with his brothers as The Screaming Abdabs, impressed the judges with his f...
The average resident of the Faeroe Islands is tall and blonde with a ruddy complexion forged in the bright sunshine and fresh winds of the North Atlantic. Not many people on the world stage pay the Faroese much regard and those that do focus heavily...
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