Obsessive/Compulsive disorder sufferer David Beckham has said in the strongest possible terms that he wants to be a part of England's World Cup plans - the 2050 World Cup, in fact, and beyond!
"I just love playing for England," said 'Goldendrawls', who will be 75 by the time the 'mid century' festival of footie, due to be held in what is left of Eritrea, rolls around. "I can't imagine a time when I couldn't fall out of a wheelchair, dribbling and incontinent, and onto the hallowed Wembley turf with the 'Three Lions' on my shirt. "I'll be 'Oldenballs' by then," he joked. "But I'll still give five billion per cent for my country."
Not even a wooden casket, carried by half a dozen pall bearers dressed in Union Flags, is likely to deter Beckham. "I still reckon I'll be able to curl a good cross into the box, even AFTER rigor mortis has set in," he said. "F**k!", he said, "I'll be 'Goldenpalls', but I'm sure that my crumbling corpse will still be in good nick."
At least one village has now fortunately been deprived of its f**king idiot!
Now THAT'S deadication.
