Tony Blair has jokingly announced that when his time comes to step down "you better be ready, because I'm nobody's bitch!" His comment was uttered during an interview for the downing street website.
London - (Ass Mess): UK media sources have hit back at UK Prime Monster's tortured claims that he is being hounded by them "just like Pricess Diana".
Drowning Street, SW1 - (Ass Mess): Come back Alistair Campbell, everything is forgiven!...
London - (Ass Mess): Two large pantechnicons arrived outside No 10 Drowning Street this morning as police began reposessing personal artefacts belonging to UK Prime Monster Tony Blair and his gargoyle wife Cherie.
Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott has been placed in a hospital high-dependency ward after it had been diagnosed he is suffering from pneumonia.
Whitehall - (Ass Mess): The Crown Prosecution Service has told the Metropolitan Police Fraud Squad to 'go nail that bastard Blair' after scrutinising the dossier of cash-for-honors evidence against him, his blind trust portfolio bagman Lord L...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Africa - CENTCOM, the organization that President Bush created from which to command the military for his New World Order, is opening a base in Africa. This comes after President Bush authorized $30 Billion to fight AIDS there...
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): President George Bush is said to be receiving 'deep tissue colonic irrigation therapies' to combat growing depression following the recent resignation of his Whore on terra pal Tony Blair.
Pretoria, South Africa - (Ass Mess): As he boarded his official plane for the return journey home to London from South Africa today UK Prime Monster Tony Blair scoffed at persistent press questioning that he faces 'imminent arrest' when he la...
London, England - After six years of denial by the Bush's administration, handpicked scientists appointed to tow the official White House policy line that denied global warming ever existed, MI6 documents exposing how Bush changed his mind about...
PRETORIA (AssPress) - Prime Minister Tony Blair wrapped up a farewell tour of picking up presents and kick backs in Africa on Friday with a call for fellow G8 leaders to "step up to the plate" an Americanism relating to the...
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - London - After going to the doctor, Tony Blair found that he has AIDS. Upon hearing the news, George Bush requested $30 billion to fight the disease in his gay lover.
(MUSICMAN PRESS) Liberals rejoiced today as President Bush signs a bill to legalize same-sex marriages in all fifty states.
In a few weeks time Tony Blair will step down from his position as Prime Minister of this country. His place at number 10 will be filled by current Chancellor Gordon Brown - although it has come to our attention that Mr. Brown may already be drunk with power.
Whitehall - (Ass Mess): Just before Fraud Squad cops arrested UK Prime Monster Tony Blair's blind trust portfolio bagman Lord Levy last year along with Downing Street gatekeeper Ruth Turner and top Labour Party sperm donor Sir Christopher 'Bu...
Soon to be Prime Minister Gordon Brown has accused the government of making major mistakes over its handling of the situation in Iraq. He claimed that the Blair Government had completely mishandled the situation as opposed to the way the Brown Govern...
Tony Blair has announced that he will not be taking Gordon Brown to negotiations on the European constitution.
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