Leader of The House of Commons, Jacob Rees-Mogg faced ridicule yesterday when he was unable to pose for a photoshoot with a Kalashnikov AK47 assault rifle due to his inability to lift the weapon from the table. Rees-Mogg, dressed in a John Bull un…
A source inside Buckingham Palace has made the startling claim that Her Majesty, The Queen has consumed more than 11 imperial tons of tallow since coming to the throne in 1953 The insider told us that she eats raw tallow for every meal, and that e…
The recent rise in popularity of the piano accordion across the United Kingdom has been linked to the newly-formed presidency of Joe Biden, according to a poll conducted among residents. Since the inauguration, over ninety per cent of UK citizens…
In a surprise move, the government, in conjunction with The Royal Family, have decided to ditch God Save The Queen at future sporting events and replace it with the cockney anthem: "Knees Up Mother Brown" It is thought that the government, and ind…
A 54-year-old entomologist from Whitechapel in East London last night strongly refuted claims made by a member of the camera crew who accompanied him on a recent trip to study the behaviour of leaf-cutter ants in Borneo that he had a enjoyed a numbe…
A shock investigation by a popular American magazine has revealed that by the year 2050 an incredible 95% of American citizens will have accidentally killed each other through the negligent discharge of firearms. The in-depth analysis comes after…
A 47-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that he made lewd remarks and carried out a number of unwanted sexual advances towards himself while working from home under lockdown Toby Dell, a graphics designer from…
Meghan Markle last night told reporters that she intends to sacrifice a live Sumatran gibbon on an alter in her back garden to commemorate the life of The Duke of Edinburgh, who passed away in April last year. The Duchess of Sussex, who was unable…
Embattled royal, Prince Andrew, threw down a defiant challenge to the legal team of his accuser, Virginia Giuffre, last night when he demanded that the accusations against him of having underage sex with Ms Giuffre be heard by a panel of four celebri…
There was widespread concern in the world of male grooming yesterday when the latest figures revealed that stocks of moisturiser have descended to an all-time low after pop icon Olly Murs ordered over 500 tonnes to be delivered to his luxury Essex ho…
Prime Minister, Boris Johnson was at the centre of another #Partygate storm last night as former key advisor, Dominic Cummings, told The Times newspaper that a Roman-style orgy was held at Ten Downing Street during the height of the 2020 lockdown.
With underfire Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s position looking increasingly precarious, his fellow Old Etonian and current Leader of The House of Commons, Jacob Rees-Mogg, appears to have thrown his hat into the ring in any forthcoming challenge for…
Buckingham Palace last night made the surprise announcement that the Queen’s youngest son, Prince Edward, died unnoticed in 2017 following a short illness. A spokesman for the Royal Family explained, “His Royal Highness Prince Edward passed away a…
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local newspaper that he was extremely disappointed when he failed to discover the body of a murder victim while out walking his new puppy at the weekend. Toby Dell, a gravity die-caster from Vallance Road,…
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local newspaper that he indulged in phone sex with a female work colleague during a marriage guidance session attended by himself and his wife. Toby Dell, from Brushfield Street, told The East London Gazett…
A 32-year-old woman from Shoreditch in East London revealed last night that she caught her husband having a saucy exchange with a woman living across the road using coded messages on an Aldis Lamp, a signalling device used by ships to transmit messag…
Afghanistan's Taliban leaders have announced, that as part of their inclusivity policy towards women, a controlled amount of spousal nagging will be permitted from February this year during daylight hours, after which a strict ban will be imposed.
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