Local naturalist denies inappropriate relationship with leafcutter ant

Funny story written by Danny Soz

Tuesday, 15 February 2022

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Saucy. A scantily clad leafcutter pictured last night

A 54-year-old entomologist from Whitechapel in East London last night strongly refuted claims made by a member of the camera crew who accompanied him on a recent trip to study the behaviour of leaf-cutter ants in Borneo that he had a enjoyed a number of saucy, late-night romps with one of the creatures, part of a colony which was being studied at the time.

The crew member says that they saw Dell sneaking out of the camp after dark and heading for the colony where the alleged offences took place.

Speaking to the East London Gazette, the man, an experienced wildlife photographer, claims: 'I followed Toby one night and saw him meet up with the ant in a clearing adjacent to the colony.

'They began kissing and fondling one another before tumbling to the ground where they had full sex.

'I took some footage on my camera but they were so carried away they didn't even notice me watching.

'After they had both climaxed, they fell asleep together on the jungle floor.

'It was the most blatant and shocking thing I have ever witnessed in all my years as a wildlife cameraman'

Dell denied the claim last night, insisting that although he had become extremely fond of the ant during the study, nothing untoward had taken place and that the pair had remained fully clothed at all times.

Last year, Dell was briefly in the spotlight amid claims that he had been spotted mutually masturbating with a praying mantis in his bivouac in the Amazon rainforest.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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