Local man had sizzling phone-sex romp during marriage guidance session

Funny story written by Danny Soz

Thursday, 13 January 2022

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A sex phone pictured earlier

A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local newspaper that he indulged in phone sex with a female work colleague during a marriage guidance session attended by himself and his wife.

Toby Dell, from Brushfield Street, told The East London Gazette: 'The wife insisted we undergo marriage guidance as we've been going through a rocky patch and I reluctantly agreed.

'After around ten minutes with the counsellor, a woman at my work that I've been sleeping with rang my mobile and started describing what she'd like to do with me.

'Fortunately, I had my earbuds in at the time as I was listening to the cricket from Australia so neither my wife nor the counsellor knew what was going on.

'However, things got so heated between us that I reached a climax and had to muffle my cries of ecstasy by blowing my nose violently into a hankerchief while nodding enthusiastically at the woman as if I was in strong agreement with everything she was saying.

'It was hard going, so to speak, but I think I got away with it'

We spoke to Dell's wife, Tracy, last night who confirmed that she is now leaving him.

'I knew full well what he was up to' she told us. 'Apart from all the fake nose-blowing and nodding, he was sweating like a nun in a dildo factory.

'My suspicions were finally confirmed when he took off his underpants before getting into bed and it sounded like somebody tearing up the phonebook'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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