Gary Orpingthwaite from down the road has been complaining, as he has done for 25 years, since he went to RADA, and pretended to be a Teaspoon for eight hours a day that the only work he seems to be offered at Christmas is Pantomime or Father Christm…
Matt Hancock, you remember him, don't you? He was the conservative minister who resigned due to a scandal? You must remember him. Completely incompetent? Oh, sorry, of course, that doesn't narrow down the field, does it? He had an affair with an aid…
There was great excitement amongst amateur thespians this morning when it was revealed that outgoing president, Donald Trump, has been asked to take the leading part in a major Broadway pantomime production for the New York festive season, and beyond…
Martina Glossop, a former star of Emmerdale, Coronation Street and Family Affairs (she played a passing fancy for Idris Elba and won't stop banging on about it) says that she fears that this year she may not get the chance to appear in a Pantomime.
Jedward are set to star in pantomime this year. Oh no, they're not. Yes, that is how things are in the offices of Jedward's managers around late October, early November, Brick Roofing, the duo's long-suffering manager, said 'We know that they are...
The radio documentary about farming life, The Archers, has revealed that the festive treat that is Ambridge's Pantomime is already in the planning stages. Lydia Snell told us 'We are looking at scripts and ideas already. I know it is only March, b...
Former US comedian, Bill Cosby, now incarcerated for between 3 and 10 years for rape, has been getting into the Christmas spirit behind bars, and earlier today visited fellow inmates in their cells, dressed as Santa Claus. As the pantomime season...
Donald Trump doesn't understand whole concept of Pantomime US President Donald Trump doesn't understand the whole concept of Pantomime, reveals former White House whipping boy Sean Spicer. Apparently, the practice of seeing former television st...
Charles Dickens depiction of life in Victorian orphanages, Oliver Twist, has now been turned into a 2017 reality horror show by a bunch of Scrooges who run a daily meal service in a Catholic school in North London! It seems as though little Oliver...
Fairies flying over Russian territory are being routinely treated as wicked witches and are being shot down. Vladimir Putin told our staff this morning, "I have given orders for any good fairies not transmitting good fairy international registration...
Abu Hamza was unable to be extradited to the U.S. to face terrorist charges when it emerged he had landed a starring role in the coming seasons Pantomime "Peter Pan" at Kings Theatre , Brombton. The trial Judge was overjoyed to hear that Hamza wil...
My friend Shylock Humes and I were crouching on the lawn of the villa of Colonel Clavicord, late of the Bengal Dancers, waiting for our friends from Scotland Yard to gather their forces for the final push into the villa, where it was my fervent hope that we would at last encounter the denouement of The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose. Shylock Humes turned to me. In order to do this, he...
Hot, hot, hot off the press today is confirmation that French President Nicolas Sarkozy is to make a much anticipated appearance on British shores to star in panto this year. He will be appearing as head dwarf, 'Smelly' in 'Snow White and the Seven D...
Atheist fundamentalist and evolution fruitcake Richard Dawkins yesterday sensationally walked out from his debut performance in 'The Princess and the Rock', his latest indoctrination project aimed at brainwashing the gullible and stupid. Dawkins,...
As unholy an alliance as it seems, the above named will actually be appearing in Dorking for six weeks over the Christmas holiday period, in the Dorking Review Theatre's yuletide festive panto production treat, Cinderella. Directed by am-dram impr...
Embittered Manchester City star Carlos Tevez will today launch his new career on the West End stage. In a radical departure from his current role as a forward for the Manchester side, now second in the Premiership, he has agreed to play Lady Brac...
Arsenal Wenger will be busy over the 2011 festive period following a statement from the Emirates Stadium today. According to an announcement from the Gunners camp, the Frenchman will be appearing in pantomime at the end of the year. Arsenal chi...
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