Matt Hancock, you remember him, don't you? He was the conservative minister who resigned due to a scandal? You must remember him. Completely incompetent? Oh, sorry, of course, that doesn't narrow down the field, does it? He had an affair with an aide? Still, no closer to picturing him are you?
Anyway, he has been asking theatre companies to consider him for this year's panto. A theatre producer said:
"We get so many approaches from people to be in Pantomime, and there are only so many faded celebrities you can carry. Matt Hancock? Remind me who he is again? Short? Incompetent? Had an affair? Sorry, still rings no bells for me I am afraid.
"Which role would he be suitable for? Probably not Prince Charming, as that includes needing to be handsome, and charming. Buttons? No, to be Buttons he would need to be likeable.
"The Villian? No, you need to be convincingly bad to be that. I think that we will probably be able to find him a suitable position as the back end of the Pantomine Horse though.
"Would he like that?"
