It was either Pantomime or Father Christmas complains talentless actor

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Saturday, 29 October 2022

image for It was either Pantomime or Father Christmas complains talentless actor
The back end of a Pantomime Horse, yesterday

Gary Orpingthwaite from down the road has been complaining, as he has done for 25 years, since he went to RADA, and pretended to be a Teaspoon for eight hours a day that the only work he seems to be offered at Christmas is Pantomime or Father Christmas.

'No one ever asks me to be Bob Crachitt' said Gary, who pretends to be Scrooge for the rest of the year.

'What's David Tennant got, that I haven't?' bewailed Gary. Well, the answer is, a very good agent, contacts, talent, range, good looks, and people skills for a start. Now, maybe if you had had a backup plan when you were 21, you could have saved everyone a lot of bother, couldn't you, Gary?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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