William Hague - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

I'm writing my speech for conference in New York:

"I'm making it plain to everyone in this room, that I do not want any conflict with Iran, under any circumstances whatever! After all the cutbacks we've made in our forces, we'd have to end up sending the Boy Scouts if any conflict started. Anyway, the Royal Navy is needed in case the Argentinian's kick off in the Falklands again, and we barley have enough ships to respond to that event."

Yes that'll do, it sounds better than the truth that I'm worried about what would happen to my Iranian oil BP shares if we did go to war!

Must remember to ask that dashing assistant of Obama's, if he'd like to discuss things further in a hotel bedroom with me.